Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Enuff!!!!!! (encore for a fake primadona)


Is it just me ... or am I really being copy catted?!!

The other day this particular friend of mine went out with me and since we have not seen each other for ages I find its really weird that all that she had been asking was about my shoes and my jeans ,and where I got them from instead of asking whats new with me... or 'How am I doing... , but she was so darn busy asking me where I got my jeans, handbags, tops, spectacles and shoe from,I was flattered at the time I thought "maybe I have a good fashion sense" besides ,the factory made many of them and not only for me..., so I shared the infos of my shoe and jeans , Ignoring what my friends had told me that she had got the same EVERYTHING that's exactly like mine since years ago when I left for England again.

...And that is including car make,hairstyles, speech style-the way I talk.. (huh!)I don't even realized that I have a "way" of talking? , perfumes and .. many more!Its beyond coincidence and the latest one is... now that I am blogging she wants to blog too!I figured that since I left, she had been playing "Az Azura"! I can't disclose everything outrageous that was done by this person but now I am feeling less flattered , just don't come to my house one day and claim that my family is yours, I don't know what to say... except for that I need to be surrounded by some normal people PLEASE!
I heard a friend wished that she had a disease like mine .. but that is something else.(rolling my eyes)


I would like to send my condolence to Lolok's family on the demise of this modest and talented men.Lolok is well known composer and lyricist in Malaysia.

and on a Happy note..
A very happy Birthday to my good friend Beautiful Amy in the UK.May all your wishes comes true honey"xx

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Here I am


Many things has been going on lately , and finally I have start rise up again working on this current new project of mine.This few weeks , I had not been well emotionally or physically.Every night I would look at the starless sky and wish that I am somewhere else.

I was out this morning for a business meeting and on my way back home I dropped by at my local sundry store while there I had a chat with the shop owner on how to make a perfect chappatti ( an Indian unleavened bread) and there were few more people from my neighbourhood at the shop just exchanging hi's and asking me how I am doing .I had a good start today , so I am not going to end today with going to bed in tears or pain .I am going to laugh a lot today and days to come and I am going to have a lot of mental flashbacks of sweet moments in my life


I got home after the meeting after going through a good traffic, yup no traffic jam just now! and switched on my computer and went to Lupus Foundation of America's blog and....I found that they wrote about me! Thank you LFA!(especially to Wick ) and I am honoured and really appreciate that .To be honest, even before I was linked to the blog , I often browse through it because it gives a good updated information on Lupus.I am a member, if not active, of Lupus group in England and Malaysia .I still think that they are still some lack of awareness about this disease ,for instance some people went paralyzed for years and blamed it on black magic because they do not know that they are such disease that could torment them in so many ways.I personally was wrongly diagnosed and was on the wrong drug for almost a year.!


But few years after that with the combinations of
good rheumatologists+good drugs+support from family and friends + discipline...

I am still here today , still aching and still searching like the rest of us . But I think I am a lucky person indeed , I've met many people in my life some has ugly personalities that need some reality check and sorting out :)I already had them removed from my life but most of people I had encountered so far are beautiful and nice to me.

For all these well wishers and beloved people around me, tonight I am going to look at the sky and Say "Thank you" , for allowing me to continue this journey...



Note:
Visit Lupus foundation of America at http://lfa-inc.blogspot.com , or click on my link at "My dearest friends" column on this page(I still do not know how to create a link on articles !)

Saturday, 26 January 2008

Thank You for being a friend.


Straight from my heart....you mean everything to me.

At the first place I wrote a blog on myspace account because it was cold in England on 28th of May 2007 ,armed with a bowl of greasy chicken fried rice I had got from a take away nearby on my side and my comfy pyjama...I started typing and had forgotten all about the interesting computer games and that I was supposed to be playing at the time or checking on my ebay auction that was about to end. Instead, I continued typing my little journal to be shared with online population.That was the first ever time that I had opened my heart to other than those who are close to me.

I had never realized that I would enjoy writing this much.I know I love to write( and doing a million of other things too) , but I also always know that I am not good at it.I think I don't have that much confidence anymore since my Lupus attacked, that I always think that I am bad at everything and can never do any good,Thanks to my mum, Roger and my brother who gave positive energy boost to me besides supporting me in whatever I do.Now, I realized that many people have faith in me , coming here to my blog often and supported me, these people some I had never met and yet offers me friendship and many laughters.
I have to say that YOU fills my life with vivid colours and beautiful friendship.Sometimes when some of them do not update their blogs I tend to get worried and concern about their well beings.No matter where they are , I hope that life is treating them well and they are happy...
Zen Chef , Azra,Doudy ,Shantanugosh, Afghan Lord,Liudmila,Anita, Fatih Syuhud,Julie,Wick Davis and more names that has supported me, direct or indirect way.
Thank you for your morale supports and kind words! Friends forever xoxo

Thanks also to Susie ,Tarrel,Charlie, Alex, Thava and Malar who come here very often to support their friend "Sayangku Azura ".xxx

Lots of love , hugs and kisses
Az

Thursday, 24 January 2008

Knock,knock ,knockin on my knees .

I hate talking about it , It's hard to open up and talk about your weakness.few years ago as I had mentioned many times ,I could not walk .I had to use wheel chair when I go out and being lifted up when I'm at home.My mother would not allow me to use a wheelchair all the time, she was afraid that I can never walk again.When I sit down I literally don't have any energy at all to get up.

Past it past
Now , nobody stare at me with sympathy anymore whenever I'm out .I threw away the hat that I had used to cover my balding hair and face, I don't want any of my friends to see me on that wheel chair,I felt so defeated , so helpless.. so useless.
But since Monday this constant pain on my knee is bugging me ,its like nails are poking my knee cap.My left arm is itching too and I am feeling exhausted all the time.I want to get rid of it, I want to wash it off. I want my life back but I can't! I am gripping my fist tight, put a smile on my face and pretend that I am OK .I don't want anyone around me to sense any of my sadness.... besides, I heard people said "fake it till you make it" and that is exactly what I am doing now.I hate when this thought of what ifs such as What if I go back to that state again ? will I lose everything? will I still have my team of supporters if it occur again ?

I cannot disappoint my supporters a.k.a my mother , my brother , my grandparents, my doctors , my boyfriend , my boyfriend's family, my best friend because these people were there for me and I saw their grieving face and I don't want them to see me ill. Most of all I cannot afford emotionally to go back to where I was.I had heard that a lady was in coma when Lupus strikes her again after being in remission for many years, and I do get scared listening to this sort of stories.While this knee is still hurting like mad , I had applied some balm on it and that is how I smell at this moment , its nothing like Chanel no5 ,I don't feel sexy at all smelling like lemongrass and eucalyptus. Ha, ha, ha.

Oh ...I'm taking some deep breath


Everything will be OK .I believe in myself , I am fighting Lupus.
Pray for me please, so that I'll win....

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

While I'm here talking sweet ....

I am quite worry about a blogger acquaintance of mine .Afghan Lord (from Afghanistan) has not been updating his blog for a while ,I am just hoping that He is allright.

My love affair with sweets .

One fine day , I am sitting on my study , just thinking about my life, what I want to achieve and where else I would like to go for my holiday, so I made this reasonable list and try to visualise me going to these places.

Places I want to visit (one day)

Taj Mahal
Apia Island
Lombok
Rabat and Casablanca ,Morocco
Borubodur
The pyramids in Egypt
Goa
Ayers Rock
Petra, Jordan
Safari anywhere in Africa
Fiji
Bora-Bora

Miss India
I wish that I can go to India one day , it has always been a dream to go there , My late father went to India somewhere in early 80's and visiting Taj Mahal was something that He said He won't forget because it is such a beautiful building made with beautiful marbles.I was touched by the story of Mughal Emporer Shah Jahan and his wife Mumtaz Begum. I aim to go there this year depending on health, time and financial .But I think If I were to do Taj Mahal, I might as well do other cities other than Agra and of course savour the culture , the history , the people , the art and of course the FOOD!!of each cities I will be visiting (hopefully).



Sweetie pie...,
I am addicted to my newly discovered barfi , it is an Indian sweet .I think because I can fall in love with anything sweet, milky and nutty (not as in crazy "nutty", but lots of nuts- nutty ) like gulab jamun , milky semolina cake and such. So, falling in love with this one is inevitable , this barfi I bought at a duty free shop during my holiday is just so,so yummy it contained figs, almonds, cashew nuts, pistachio and I could just eat the whole a kilo pack, which I did by the way....

To make on my own would be a challenge but I think I would go find the ingredients ,once I am done with this "cereals- only- diet" that I intend to follow starting tonight!... or maybe tomorrow because my mum made a delicious noodle dish for tonight that I simply can't resist.So.. yeah! tomorrow' would be the start of my "cereals- only- diet" until I reach my target.Then I will be at the Indian town's grocery shop to buy the ingredients for my beloved Barfi.

Monday, 21 January 2008

Poot Len naw- You must be joking

I went to the bank with my mom and little brother today , He wants to have Thai ,- as in food for lunch today.So we went to this former rival of mine , eventhough
"their people" think that ,my restaurant was a rival ,I never thought of it that way, because they belong to a huge chain and I am a single owner, they serves fine dining Thai , I served Fine dining Malay But I suppose people who succeed in business has to do it the old fashion way jealous , rival , enemy bloody blah.. I am not an angel but I prefer to do things my way the honest and straight way having friends are much better than having enemies, being nice is much better than being bad , clean is better than dirty.
So we went to one of their restaurant and this is not the first time, I supported them back then as well. My brother ate his favourite dish which was a deep friend fish(Garoupa) , KaiLan and I ate Thai green curry although without sounding awful ,my Thai green curry is much better ,thanks to my Thai blood connection.The funny thing is this:




"A Malay family ate at a Thai Restaurant , food cooked by a Myanmar , served by Bangladeshis,in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia".

I'm all confused , so I laughed not knowing how to react.

Now I know why my mum skipped her lunch just now.

Lets go to our regular Thai restaurant 20 kilometres away , shall we next time?

I think I am too...(I love myself .. me,me ,me!)

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen
Or lend a shoulder to cry on
You're there through thick and thin
Many people consider you their "best friend"!

I found more nice friends in planet blog

Az Azura, why are you sad and why are they tears in your eyes?

Az Azura :I am sad because there are too many silly people in this world and they are hurting me

Why are they silly ?

Az Azura :Because they are human but act like evil,I am starting to think that they are satans who walk around wearing a human mask.


Jealousy , provoking others , trying to break peoples relationships with others ,anger , these are dark factors, but somehow human seems to embrace it , seems to enjoy having it in their personality.
I had written about it , though I don't feel like it. I never hurt someone I call a friend or go into people's lives , let alone provoking them and wrecking their interpersonal relations with whoever in their lives.Somehow we don't create a piece of heart and we does NOT have the right to hurt anyone, so beware with your words and your intentions.

In my entire life I only have few girls whom I call good friends One is a doctor now and one works in a University, they were always there when I need them name it to discuss school homework or when I'm ill , they never ask me questions with intentions to hurt my feelings , I know my life and my surroundings and hell I don't need anyone to pass judgements and volunteer to create a script for my life at this moment I am kind of in love with my life , I am pretty content with it though I think if I have 10 million pounds, running my own food produce corporation with annual turnover of 20 million pounds and running my own reality show ala apprentice that's called " Azura's prodigy" and not living with this disease would make my life happier.. I have no complaints so far ,because I don't like barking back but beware the next time.... and Yes, I know this homosapiens would come and disturb me again with their false stories and pretentiousness as if they are my real friends,I might use my kung fu fighting skill ala Bruce Lee and fight back.

Don't pretend to be my friend and stab me behind (or in front) of me, THAT upsets me, don't your parents teach you anything about being a good person?because my mum did.

Saturday, 19 January 2008

This can't be happening to me!!( me being a drama queen )

WHY!!!!!!!

At this moment of time I am having a crisis at home , everyone seems to be upset because they are not a drip of water coming from our tap since 2 pm yesterday.. Luckily, We had some water reserves in the tank, but today,I had marched to the supermarket to get some mineral water for drinking and brushing our teeth.
The huge connecting pipe that burst at another end of the City had caused this.I rung the Water department hotline and the answer is they "don't know " when this crisis will be resolved and with a report in a newspaper yesterday saying that we should brace ourselves as this might take 3-4 days.. I wanted to laugh but since everyone have this frown on their face maybe I should give frown a chance too.Till this crisis is over, I am going to fake my panic and worries while playing on my online games when I should really be doing paper works.I am tired and sleepy and I had not take a proper shower .Arghhhh!!!!
oh wait!... I think the water is starting to come..

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Its hard being a women. Well, kind of....


I saw this movie called Heartbreak Kid yesterday ,Being a Ben Stiller fan , he never failed to make me laugh .I wont tell the graphic detail of the movie because some of you might have not seen it, Its a movie about making the right choice regarding life partner where Ben Stiller is often under pressure to get hitched and he did but with a wrong women.In real life, I think women are often pressured compared to men name it by the parents, surroundings or peers with questions like when is the time? when are you...?, is He serious about you? He will marry you if He loves you....I am glad that my mother is not like a typical Asian mother who nags about me not getting married , she almost never mentioned it and allow me to make the choices of either which men or when I should be married because somehow our life destiny is unknown as she often said marriage is full of responsibilities and this is my mother talking OK, BUT ... I think peers a.k.a acquaintances whom I hardly know and whom are engaged or hitched always seems to provoke and create a competitive atmosphere and comparing how much love they and their partner has got and how big and lavish their wedding will be and of course the compulsory subject which is their bling bling huge diamond ring.

Great! I am happy for you.and this is the answers that I should have given when this ladies were blabbing trying to make me feel unworthy.


And she(and he) live happily ever after

Raised in a very untypical environment, I was raised to have ambition to achieve it and to live my life in my own way. When?, How?, with whom I will do it ? I might want to keep it private and personal.NOT that I have not been proposed before, and if I were the wicked women I could have been laughing out loud , happy that a fish had taken my bait. I believe in fate and what feels right and I prefer not to think about something that I can't fix or predict.I had spent 2 years of my life being stucked and bed ridden and not being able to fulfill my ambitions because I was too busy practising how to walk, grow my balding hair and pronounce my speech right again! as I am typing this now , I am not even the old me anymore.I definitely think fate and destiny will work themselves out, No strategies ,no emotional games played, no lavish wedding just me and a heart so sincere loving my groom till the end of my day...With the right person , the right feeling, the right timing.......
I will put on that diamond ring in a heartbeat.

So to those ladies, please leave me alone, let me have fun and mind your own business.

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Tonight is 'the' night.

Hi Az Azura, I am your immune system , last time I used to protect you, but now I am confused .. I am attacking you, yes I am and maybe kill you bit by bit..(followed by an evil laugh)....ha ha ha ha


I have been having trouble sleeping in this few years,There are times when I sleep like 12 hours and that sometimes comes with beautiful dreams like an added bonus to my restful sleep but sometimes ,I find it hard to even shut my eyes and relax .Lately I am into the latter mode , at 1 am I often think about The crispiness of Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald's ,Fortunate and unfortunately these Fast food restaurants not far from my house runs 24 hours with home delivery options .I always end up having some not so healthy food at 1,2 or 3 in the morning with my younger brother while chatting on our dining table.
Being a morning person , I am often tired in the afternoon but I had forced myself to stay awake and be in front of the computer either working or pretending to be working.I realized my doctors had said to me to take it easy , chill' whenever I feel the need to chill' and take a nap whenever I feel like it because pushing myself is not good for my health.Seriously ,it can cause flare.Man,.. I hate this .My body is beyond my control now !!! I need a rest, but I can't seem to relax!!!


Could be my lucky night
I am so glad that Lavender oil helped me with my headaches back then ,same like Jasmine oil that helped me to relax .I stopped using aromatherapy stuff for a little while because I had used this patchouli body wash 7 months ago and it makes me itch(I know.. lately whatever I do seems to make me itch).
But tonight is the night, I am going to take a warm bath ,use my no preservatives glycerin soap , put on my most comfortable pyjamas maybe that pink one with hearts on it, drink a glass of milk and put that lavender oil in my burner, put it next to my bed .Tonight I am going to reach my deep sleep.. and go where I've never been before.

Sunday, 13 January 2008

Sweet dream, Sayangku....



Everytime I said to my brother that we should go for a run at the lake garden whats stopping us is always the objection from the weather , because its raining with heavy thunderstorms down here in Kuala Lumpur almost every afternoon-evening time.

I prefer those days when I was a little girl , where we had lived in small towns.The air is much cleaner ,and the people were a lot more nicer.
If I were to live a small town right now , I would probably run my own farming business ,Chicken farming intrigues me.When I was a child my late Father took me to a friends farm and we are talking big bucks farming here.. and I saw this eggs processing machine and how smoothly the eggs run on its converter belt and how we all got excited when my mother, who is also very good with gardening, harvested the corn and okra that she planted in our garden.Eight year old me thought while giggling at the time when I picked those corn ....
" This is fun, I want to be a beautiful medical doctor cum farmer when I grow up, I want to own a house on a hill by the sea just like Robert Louis Stevenson did and plant plenty of vegetables in my garden"

Almost 20 years later...
I am in this city and I am not a medical doctor, Fumes and smokes had taken over the fresh clean air in my lungs though I didn't smoke .I enjoy going out, dining and often out browsing in shopping malls.The closest I get to farming these days is planting cherry tomatoes and potatoes in England, in my apartment here in the middle of the city Centre I do have an orchid and climbers of money plants scientifically known as Scindapsus Aureus and oh yeah.., in the other house in the suburb of KL where I had planted some herbs.



Sweet dreams are made of these
I don't hate every aspects of this city of mine but tired of its pretentiousness, I hate to compete and I am not going to,I hate the traffic jams and going on a battle everytime I go out .I feel that "a white house on a hill by the sea dream " is within my reach , it is only a matter of time....

Friday, 11 January 2008

Please send her home.


I feel really awful reading the stories of child abuse and abduction, how can someone do that to little kids?Last Wednesday ,Shalinie an asthmatic 6 year old girl was abducted while playing with her sister at a playground 200 metres away from her home.her sister said that her abductor was a petite women and took her in a car.



Few months ago, Nurin Jazlin was kidnapped near her house too. She was finally found dead, her body was stuffed in a sports bag left in front of a shop and the body showed that she was brutally abused. They have not found the killer up till today.




This the photo fit of a men who abducted another little girl few days ago , Thankfully she was found after 3 hours .Shocked, but medical examination showed that she was not assaulted .This abductor often convinced his victim to follow him by on the pretext of looking for his missing cat, He had used the same tactic on June 27th last year to a 6 year old girl and had shoved a brinjal onto her private part, another incident was on the next following month when he abducted a five year old, sundry shop owner's daughter ,she was found abandoned 14 hours later with bruises on her legs.

Friends , if you think you know this men or have seen him somewhere ,please contact those numbers on the poster above. As I am writing this, I feel the tremendous feeling of disgust and hate towards pedophiles and this men should be arrested and be penalised .

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Sweet toothed.




Its raining heavily in Kuala Lumpur just now, and there were heavy thunderstorms too.I had been saying to my mother since yesterday that I crave for her delicious Kueh Lopis . Kueh stands for Malay bite size snacks, Most of the Kuehs has coconut milk , grated coconut and glutionous rice as key ingredients and today by my request my mum made some kueh Lopis which is my favourite ! though we don't have any banana leaves my mum had wrapped the glutinous rice with aluminium foil before she steamed it.

Its really ,really good and being a superb Malay lady, my mum makes cute kueh lopis that melt in my mouth blended with its pandan scented -rich glutinous rice.



Before I knew it, I went to the kitchen and made myself some Jasmine rose tea that I got from Dubai ( I know I can't stop talking about Dubai) that not only looks pretty to my eyes , it taste good as well with subtle rose aroma it refreshes and makes one feels very pure and innocent .While looking at the rain through the glass door, like a proper lady I sat on the dining table having my afternoon tea and thought," I am glad I don't have to be out today, if not I could've been stuck in the bad traffic and dark sky like those people out there".



Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Cambodia calling

I am tired of this city ,I know it has plenty to offer , like shopping malls to browse and go crazy at and tonnes of restaurants and cafes. As it is always sunny in Kuala Lumpur and I can't be exposed to the sun, my activities lately is going out for dinner with my family and friends , Last night for instance , it wasn't raining so I went for a nice Chinese vegetarian meal with my neighbour Thava and Malar they are both lawyers and Thava is probably reading this now - Thank You.
I got up today doing the same routine of having breakfast , eating my pills and that makes me think about this place , a place where I am happier , where my heart is like a never ending green sierra.The friendliness of its people and the simplicity of their lives touched my heart and changed me in certain way.




I 've been thinking about Cambodia a lot, and even more today ,I had a great time there more than a year ago , though I had been warned about how awful the place is before i actually been there.. surprisingly I had a great time, I did the Siam Reap to Phnom Penh route and did it by bus that broke down every one hour and yet the drivers and the bus's staffs were smiling and laughing.

The Angkor was the highlight for me , I ve always wanted to see the monument that was rediscovered in 1860's, every inch of the structure was engraved so beautifully and the stairs were so tiny , though I was afraid to climb it at the first place, with some encouragement from my boyfriend and my new American friends I did it, make it to the top and that was among the best time of my life.Child street peddlers selling just about anything from postcards to sarongs , the sounds of tuk tuks, Cafes by the Bar street ,Eating at Amok and Dead fish tower (two places with different personalities and charms), the kindness of the people (they were just plain nice towards me , no motives or scam , just being nice and humble). THAT had touched my heart , in fact I almost cried when I was about to leave.I stayed in Day Inn Angkor in Siam reap and the room and pool was big, its a nice Hotel and their waiters were just funny and had addressed me as their sister.


Capital City
In Phnom Penh I stayed at The Raffles that serves great breakfast,this was where 'The Killing Field' was filmed. It's a gorgeous hotel and I enjoyed every bits of it , and the tuk -tuk driver called San Sambo who always makes me laugh He had stalked me and appeared in front of me all the time whenever I'm in town,having a meal at Sisowath Quay(which is the place to be) or right just when I'm out from the Hotel gate.I remember when we were on the way to the killing fields , me and my boyfriend had to help him push his tuk-tuk due to bad road( and its dusty as well)It was a funny experience but the scattered human bones and thousands of skulls we saw after that was just heart wrenching to see.

The food that I can't forget was at a restaurant called Lemongrass that serves Thai , and of course at FCC because it has a great view overlooking the Mekong river while I enjoyed a bowl of pasta with mussels sitting on the balcony. Oh , I miss it there ....

Needless to say, I feel like I could just pack and leave for Cambodia right now,Just as I had once upon promised under the Angkor sky , I will be back. And now I hear it calling my name.

Sunday, 6 January 2008

Leaner , muscular me... in a few months




I have put on so much kilos since a year and a half ago , I want to blame it on water retention caused by my daily intake of corticosteroids to control my Lupus , but when I come to think about it , its my alone time in the UK without anyone saying NO ,allows me to eat so much chocolate bars, pizzas and Indian takeaways.


Once.. I was mistaken for having an eating disorder

Almost 2 years ago , I was emaciated and 42 kilograms in weight.Lupus made me lose my appetite ,those whom are close to me were so worried , my boyfriend drove for hours looking for an Indian restaurant one Sunday afternoon after I said that I crave for some tandoori, took me to every restaurant that I suggested hoping that I'll regain my normal weight. My jeans were falling off and my skeletal figure is just so unattractive. Until the steroids gets into me,then.. my appetite were booming and I can eat almost everything, tubs of Haagen dazs strawberry cheesecake, fried chicken,fish and chips with mushy peas, , I ate them while I was in my white cotton sheet covered bed while watching the comedy channel.That was the among the best time of my life.
And without my mummy with me in the UK , no one would say NO to me,I have all the freedom to eat all the fast food that I want.

Now,Remember my jeans that's falling off my hips?they cant fit me anymore,I had put 10 (alright, maybe slightly more)kilograms in this almost 2 years.I don't want to put on this much but I love food so much , and chocolate topped the chart of my favourite things.


Itsy, bitsy, tiny, weenie, yellow polka dot bikini

Whenever I do my aerobics exercise trying to keep my heart beating fast for at least 30 minutes , I start to ache and have my down day the next day, Whenever I want to start running or taking a brisk walk outside , the weather in Kuala Lumpur is too sunny and I am photosensitive therefore I cant be exposed to the sun. But I am going to continue doing my aerobics , alternate with power yoga and eating the right food starting today ,

Will this 27 year old women stay away from fattening food and not be childish about it? I want to take up this challenge and put that old jeans on me again.I remember those days when I can just eat everything I wanted and still be thin, oh yea that's when I was 21... when metabolism was on my side.



This is the picture of my mum's Malay style fish curry.

Friday, 4 January 2008

Curry goes wrong


The original title of this post had been edited to avoid sounding too rude.I love food, I love eating them and I love preparing them.
I am a Malay girl and I know my Malay cooking, I'm not saying that I know it all , or Im the best ,but I know when people lied a Malay recipe to me.

Just a while ago, out of tiredness , I turned on the television and saw a show called' Suvalyana Suttrula 'on RTM2 at 5 pm,apparently this is a joint venture production of India and Malaysia and it shows places of interests of both countries and its cuisine, to be precise - A cultural exchange show, the concept is good, but I think it is the case where scripting goes bad that it hurts my feelings and tummy .
The guest chef today hailed from a catering company wearing a white and green patches- patterned jacket , He is Malaysian of Indian ethnicity and definitely his company specialises in Indian cooking as Indian banquet is famous in Malaysia. so Mr smart pants today wants to be funky and taught the audience how to cook Malay style Fish curry.

First, he poured like half a litre of oil to fill his wok then he said that Malay loves their food with oil in the surface

Then he put a stalk of lemongrass and kaffir lime leaves

After that, he poured like a litre of chilli paste followed by fish curry powder

Followed by coconut milk

Then lastly he added some fish I am sure he put some birds eye chillies somewhere throughout the session



What is wrong with the recipe is all of them, nothing he showed was Malay fish curry or we called them 'Gulai Ikan'.Malays do not use Kaffir lime leaves in their curry let alone pouring like a gallon of chili paste.

I am fine if he said that it is his own signature dish , but this is like tarnishing the Malay cooking principles, and it is being broadcast in India as well.. how am I going to fix this 'misinformation' and tell every friends of mine in India that what he cooked is NOT a Malay cooking? For my friends who had or will watch this show, please note that we never ever used that spicy birds eye small chillies and kaffir lime leaves in our curry , besides just like your curries , we sauteed our shallots and garlic gently at the first place until it has reach its crispiness'

I shall ask my mother to cook one next week , so I can show what it looks like.

For now, I am going to enjoy my delicious Barfi it is an Indian sweet, Yes it is.Unless ,if wikipedia and recipe books lied to me.

Thursday, 3 January 2008

I am fighting this.

These are among my starters at Al Muntaha Restaurant in Dubai ,I enjoyed my brunch there.great food and service.






Ouuchh! my bones are aching again , I know I should have taken the calcium supplements that The Doctor asked me to take,I know that my daily intake of corticosteroids could cause brittle bone in later years.But lately I find it hard enough to cope up with the rest of my pills , this few days I ve been going to bed with tears in my eyes , my knee cap and ankle's bone is aching like it had been poked with nails. I have tried to forget this pain by sitting in front of the computer and lately Internet has become my best source of entertainment , My project is still in the state of unfinished and I make a vow to finish it by this weekend.

I do not want to think about what if I can't walk again but the picture of me having jelly feet emerged in my nightmares.
Time and situation never allows me to be weak ,I have no other choice but to be strong. It is time for me to open that sealed bottle of Calcium supplement .


A very Happy Birthday to my boyfriend Roger (January 3rd) , may all his wishes come true xx.

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

Wishing on the shining fireworks

I can't believe its 2008 already ! I haven't had enough of 2007 ! .A year older and a year wiser.The view from where I am typing this was beautiful last night, the bright colours of the light from KL tower and the giant fireworks in the sky were just beautiful viewed from the balcony of my residence.I was not out last night, firstly because ,I was still feeling a bit sick from that food poisoning I got , and secondly even If I was allright healthwise ,I feel tired of going out and doing the typical routine of counting down with some drunk and sweaty people.Have I got really old ?have I lost that touch? Have I finished all the essence of having fun? Am I not hip'? I don't know ,I think sometimes we just enjoy the chill- out moment by ourselves, the moment , the secret place that is not shared by anyone.Last night I just hang out at home .

Welcome 2008 and goodbye 2007 , a year that had taught me many things, sweet, sour, bitter I 've tasted it all , tears and laughter that made me the strong person I am today. January 1,2008 ,I've decide to push away the bitterness that I had tasted,I want to only cry happy tears , or maybe realistically speaking, shed LESS tears, eat all the Hershey's milk chocolate and creamy desserts and be thin forever but most of all I want to stay away from Lupus and not let it attack me .

I am praying for all the happiness for us all.May 2008 fills your life with health,joy and wealth( thats another word for "helluva lots of money").
Happy New Year