Sunday, 13 July 2014

Imagining Sailendra.

                 A brief moment, an hour of  of my life spent  to relive my childhood imagination
                           Thank You to those who had made my dream come true.

Monday, 30 June 2014

And after happily ever after...?

vietnamese at my favorite vietnamese in singapore

I think you got the message here.... that my life is  a story of a woman who is constantly working and travelling...for work.

I think i am pretty  unbalance here, lack of stability and always insecure when starting something new like  "relationship" for instance.

Sometimes it is  difficult when I do not know what I am looking for   in "woman loves  man

relationship",speaking to my friend earlier in one of those  "once every 3 months"  girly conversation, a friend of mine who  had just broken up with her  boyfriend told me that she hope that one day someone amazing will come along, and apparently this amazing one should be "the one", then we  jumped into money issues as we were planning for a vacation,anyway I told her that when one solved his or her financial issues , it looks like most of the problems just fade away, depending on  how much are the needs....
If you ask me,yes I feel awkward to  have found out earlier  that I had measured the quality of life by  something so superficial-materialistic but  it is is important especially being an adult in this century we are being fed with credit opportunities  and being trapped in monthly installments,I am not excluded,to me money is important...BUT not everything, Sometimes ,(not necessarily pointed at me )you work so hard and  coming  back to your plush hotel  room   straight to sorting your   banking -just to smile  with your bank balance, having all your bills paid and yet still feel incomplete, tired,worn and unloved.

oh! those feelings above  are felt so often  by most chefs ! :p

But I must say ,I had transformed my heartbreak into something i regards as precious and rewarding,i know at some point i may need to retire when I am older, but I had invested  my time in an entity  that  is so challenging but yet so fulfilling, my work took me to travel, meet people, polishing my skill as a chef, my limit as a person and  my  intellect doing something that i love  and that is food.see... sometimes it's not all about the money, sometimes it's  the fiery passion...

My work  rewarded me  as equally as my time and effort put in it, even to disappointment I bounced back harder and stronger and yet  the opposite could be said about  love experience by far (again , not necessarily pointed at me)

it fools  you,disguised as a friend  and went  to stab you over and over again and yet you just stood there healing your wound saying to yourself "no way you will return through that route"...just to find yourself in the arms of love and bouquet of roses again?!!!

Oh my... we all should laugh at ourselves and most of all LOVE  ourselves even more :)

we should stop  putting our happiness in anyone's hands
we should be  are responsible for  how we feel
we should be  are kind to others
we should exercise daily
we should eat  our daily potions of fruits without fail
we should we eat our vegetables
we should bake once a week
we should spend  some portion of our salaries for our own little luxury ( yankee candles and facial mask maybe?)
we should watch movies that makes us laugh (or else... go on youtube and type  on your favorite comedian)
we should pray
we should take 10 minutes to lie down and just breathe
we should motivate ourselves
we should set aside money  for holiday and dream house fund!

in a whisper tone...I am happy , I have never been happier than today before.Life is flled with laughter and love  and although Life could be better, this is almost  close to what I perceive as perfect,then again how  do you define your kinda perfect ....?

syukur alhamdulilah, happy fasting.

My june was spent in jakarta mostly :)

Thursday, 15 May 2014

My pride and my prejudice.

“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.”-Joseph Brodsky.

You name any book fair in  my country  or  good bookstores recommendation  in my working area cities..

                           I could answer them In a heartbeat, because i have been to them all.

So I find it interesting  when I was eavesdropping  overheard  recently  a husband who actually put his wife down  in front of his business counterpart while waiting for their flight at Changi Airport.He hates reading and she loves to read and led a boring life.First you don't let your wife down in the public by  telling  the world that  she  got so much time to read while you are working and he  hates the way you proclaiming yourself as a non reader...that's sort of uncool.

But minding my own business....I walked through this lessons  of love by  looking at the    married couples handle their turbulence,some with grace and some with  greed.Some with issue of superiority of gender or , some  have  democratic share of power and some  are just playing bossy  asshole when they are making more money  than the significant other.

Some love till the end and some love temporarily.The purest of love is where  we came from and where we shall return, the rest are borrowed here on earth while our body and soul still unite.
You know   that person  is the one your heart is looking for when  that person makes you want to be a better person, you think of that person all the time,suddenly your world that was filled with grey  turned colorful with vivid  sparkles , fiesta of colors

As rumi had written

 "I was dead , then alive
Weeping then laughing
The power of love came into me
And I became fierce like a lion
Then, tender like the evening star"

"Your tasks is not to seek for love 
But merely  seek and destroy all the barriers  within yourself
That you have built against it"

Hey you, that I  am always imagining  dancing in between Sirius  and Polaris...

I miss you.

By the way, my current read are Professional Cooking book  and peeping through my newly bought Business book.I don't read romantic novels  anymore contrary to popular belief.

Friday, 2 May 2014

I wonder

I am just wondering  if this is my mid life crisis  that hits before it's time  or just the feeling of not fresh
I believe there is more to life than this.
Maybe all that I need is rest that i have been getting some lately or maybe I just need to jump back into work.I am always  not tired if I am at work

... and read some real good books, maybe I am in love.

                              "go and find yourself first
                     you can also find me."  :)

Sunday, 27 April 2014

New Delhi for Aahar

I had a  last minute chance before heading t the airport, my taxi driver gave me a quick surprise and he took me to Qutb Minar  en route to go home. i am lucky, so here are  my  45 minutes of playing  tourist moments in India.

Places and faces

Bingo! says me  on a question  on why I have not been writing a lot

1.Busy (but I could always make time, this is within my control)

2.No point of writing the same mundane entry for the sake of writing
3.Not anymore a channel for me to express my frustration as it is not politically correct to write about my political view or how much i hate certain sentiment in the industry against people of my color and gender.
4.I can't express  my encounter with stupid people because stupid people with bad table manners could be reading this and trust me some stupid people are people I see often not by choice.

Anyway I had been places on trade shows trips  since my last entry and why not, i put some pictures here .I wish I could give some recommendations on restaurants and hotels but I can't becauseI didn't go out much to enjoy most of my time are spent at work working in the kitchen and in my room working  again or restaurant just to eat food as fuel to survive the next day .ha, ha!  see how  passive that sounds

moral of the story...pain will go away

finally ... I am back home!

the best chicken soup outside my house can be found at gloria hotel in Dubai

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Defining YOUR happiness

This  post below was written en route to New Delhi where I am now,just to arrived  and heard from my mother  who was worried for me about  MH370 , my thoughts are prayer are with  all onboard.....thanks to  relatives who called  just to check if  I am not on that plane.

Defying the liquid stream of time.

I know, I know  I had tried hard to  try and write often but with  this hectic schedule and few  tasks that requires delegating  I am lost  in  my  “I can’t be bothered attitude”.

“Can’t be bothered “ in the sense where I do not know how to start and thought I might as well not start at all. when I start to type with my finger dancing on this keypad  ,I start to get emotional and starts to get sentimental and that is not healthy , at least not for this moment at certain point I feel that as a personal blogger who writes  an online journal I should also  keep some portion of this beautiful life experience  to myself.

January -February 2014

sri Lanka...i will be back !

Bandung at grand Pangeghar Hotel-don't stay there, the rooms are dirty

Bologna few hours before fight  home after SIGEP


With Luca on coffee break at  Dubai Gulfood 2014

when volcano eruption in Indonesia made me stuck in Jakarta, i was literally fighting to get out of the city.

Cavalli Dubai :)

Nasi Kuning in surabaya :)

Often away from home, I have lost this balance in life where  you exercise, meet friends over the weekend, spend time with family ,attend to your family, do gardening and  be in touch with your spiritual side as a human being.

I  slipped  at those, I neglected so many things that means a lot to me, my friends misses me and thought  that I had forgotten them , I lost  grip of knowledge of what is going on  at home , my weight and health fluctuates  dramatically in graph from up   to down and up, up again  plus  etc, etc  department that needs improving in my life.

But then, after this talk with my mom and my hairdresser  Anne Tan at her shop yesterday I realized that I am not alone,  as usual I often think for myself in my own selfish realm  called kingdom azura, I think we all have to make a little bit of sacrifices  bit of here and there and now with my task at MEC3 I feel  appreciated and  I am in the position where I am not only managing but I call it challenging myself on a daily basis   and up until today I can say that my challenges are tackled well ,some with grace and elegance and some with  insanity.I am happy   despite not having to balance it up with my life,Deep inside ,I am happy and that is the most important thing.

This post  is specially dedicated to mothers , wives, daughters who  have dreams and not afraid to reach them , despite all the challenges of long hours away from home, unnecessary  dramas and turmoil we made it this far and for your dreams  to come true please never ever give up, because you are not alone I am here cheering up for you because you are here reading this while  praying for me too.

Life is not perfect, you can’t make everyone happy, but you can start with making yourself happy.

Big  hug, may all your wish may come true..