Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Kotonoha no niwa

What else are there to say
You were born , you live and worked hard for money, acceptance and  happiness....and  then you die.
I think you got to live with passion and be prepared for later years (if you will ever get there )and death.
while you are alive ...people will discourage you, betray you,hurt you as if you were born with no feelings.

Then you learnt that life is all about fighting back, about trying to get up after they pushed you hard, it's about wiping your own tears and telling yourself that you will make it.

You are after all, alone in this battle.

I was betrayed  many years ago by  my heart.
I self sabotaged myself for too long.
I kept it to myself   and cried everynight

But now...I am ok , what's left are only thick scars of the past.I wore the necklace of two heart given to me and  I air- spelled hope upon my  bathroom mirror every morning.
I looked back through this 5 years and I thanked god  for what I had been going through.

Never let  that pain of the past dampen that beautiful garden of spring in your heart.Keep that enthusiasm and  sincerity, flourish it with wild fuchsia orchids and morning glory.

And if you are lucky, someone  you could have just met will stroke your face under the violet jacaranda you planted  asking for forgiveness  for  not being there  to hug you while you were nursing your wound of agony.

and these is where I was...  Amsterdam and later Rimini in January, and before  that ,Medan for few days

Sunday, 7 December 2014

The end.

It's December already?!!

I can't believe  this year is about to end.

it marked so many things this year.

By the way my phone went dead on me, my beloved samsung galaxy note  just suddenly decided to just  not wake up.In the mountain of Genting where I was at the time I  had to call my mom and whine to her and weep to my brother complaining on how unhappy situation made me feel

My little brother went to  get me a new phone  and sent to me.gave to me as a present , the same model  so that i know how it works.

I am a very lucky  girl.

I wanted to whine more honestly, but being in an idle mode lately name it emotionally or physicallyI am choosing to keep it to myself for the time being, after all I have nothing nice to say ,So I better shut up


Ill write again one day, but not so soon.

good bye.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Birthday rant part 2


sometimes thing are meant to be the way  they are meant to be,being a moslem I accept it as my qada and qadar,no regret.Defeated of  achieve my victor y I make a vow to accept them with grace.

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”-Mary Oliver

Getting old

I don't know why some  are obsessed with  age.I am still a younger wiser me....(thank you SKII :p)

This time  around unless you are my business associate, you give me shit, i reply with shit and deleting you from my life.Life is too short for false pretense.I am who I am.

Last but not least, thanks for all the birthday wishes.
Love you loads,


Monday, 25 August 2014

a year older

This is written at my birthday eve,
Yes ! I am older and wiser and  I shall start my rant.


Very  important , I was being circled by  few unkind people lately, of course I made me sad especially at some remarks being made.I wonder why is that necessary to  say harsh things and disrespect others?then I look at this person  from another perspective, at the end all your physical shortcomings can't be covered with expensive bling blings...because you have to start with your core.... and that is your heart.I feel sorry for  people like this they are very weak.

Class and kindness they comes in two.If you are mean and rude:you are automatically ugly and poor regardless of how much money you have made so far.

trivia :My current kindness hero is Emmanuel Belliveau

Being true to the world and (by world it could also be  your workplace or school)

My mother taught me all the good things, all the bad ones i learnt from myself.Now I am working for an international company that is led by my wonderful boss.A modern style of management, I am free  and encouraged to be honest and I have got through  many crap  and I own my shit, if you know what I mean, if I did something wrong I will admit it.if I don't ...I don't.And unlike some companies  that have bosses  who listens to staffs fabricating stories through gossips and company don't do this.We deal.Just like my policy :I deal... I don't bitch ,I don't whine.I DEAL .

I would suggest for  some recent negativity to buy some pussy  as few do not deserve to be a man.


To  god, to myself, to parents, to family, to all my loved ones.

Standing up for yourself.

Sometimes you feel that you are alone  , defenceless to fight back by attacks.especially the vicious ones, remember that all in life is fair.You can justify yourself but if justice is not on your side , it will at some point be.

But should it get physical I would just suggest kick in where it hurt most  "between the legs"

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.If you have that awareness, you have good matter what fork you use.-Emily post.


It's getting late I need to sleep be continued

Monday, 11 August 2014

No emotion to title this

After my visit to  Yogja I have been  busy  with many tasks and had few days of relaxing time.That was spent wisely of course by sleeping at home.

Today the moon is said to be at it's closest and brightest a.ka supermoon a.k.a perigee moon.I was trying to enjoy it's charm  for a bit until I realised that our larger tree branches   had fallen of it's tree due to thunderstorm earlier  and hit our  fence...and sole electric supply cable to our house.

Hell, that was a panic attack as I know Uncle Maniam our gardener is kind of old for the job , just imagine when he comes tomorrow morning  to find this!

Anyway, cut story  short, it was solved  earlier .alhamdulilah.

Back to the story of Yogja and it's famous kueh (sweets)...

Little alley by arab street , one of my favorite  food spot in Singapore
I left the city with a heavy heart knowing that I will miss this batik rich town and it's culture.After that I head to Singapore for a week and within a day gap head to Italy for a short  work trip,(on the eve of eid) followed by  few days in Singapore again.

Thanks to SKII and   fair and lovely I managed to keep my face from looking  dry and dull.I didn't feel so tired but I did injure my  arm  again :(

I meet some new friends  on my way in and out of Europe  a private  charter airline pilot, an undergraduate who  is on his way with his dad for a  month of adventure in Australia,  the italian young athletes and a lady who are bound to  start a new life in Toronto canada.
I also had been out with my friends in Italy who had been very kind to take me out for sushi and party.
cookies one and only  by MEC3, so good you'll fall in love with it

I had only an hour on transit   in Amsterdam on my way back and  as I had predicted, they had missed my suitcase, but the handling  of  this case was done with  elegance and grace of mr fezal of Malaysia Airlines, after series of unfortunate events  that happened  to my national airlines,if you ask me...Yes, I will still fly the airline and I will always support them regardless  of any tragedy.
To me the hospitality , food   and the experience of flying with them, it is still my favorite airline company , maybe that is my patriotism speaking.

not so much of a tulang person...but this was an awesome dish, I must say.
Go to Jalan Sultan in Singapore and this is the details >>Sup tulang

rainbow in Riccione!

How lucky I am to have  friends such as these people .Thanks for a  fun night out

Via Ceccarini that i have only come to know about it's history

current read

Peace and out,


Sunday, 13 July 2014

Imagining Sailendra.

                 A brief moment, an hour of  of my life spent  to relive my childhood imagination
                           Thank You to those who had made my dream come true.