Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Of sacrifice???

The final chapter

I have no tears to cry as I always  hold it back behind my eyes.
One day when it burst ,It will cause a stir
A monsoon  of sadness will hit
Bringing you the air of my breathe

Go on, pretend like it's ok
Closed my eyes, gripped my  fist
Dragged  that heavy backpack
And move on again

I owe you  the world, I owe everyone
Blood,joy, pain ,laughter
Thank you universe!

Monday, 23 March 2015

One sambhar vada and one step...at a time

To still have loyal readers  even when you hardly write due to the humdrum of your own state of  mind and body is amazing.Thanks for reading me.

Lucky is believing you are lucky...
I celebrate life when I should, and I think celebration  is a form of escape , or a remedy to a monotonous wheel that we paddle on a daily basis, As much as I travel 12 flights a month, I must  admit that there were times when i am too tired and stay in bed and  go through that work-meal-work-sleep and  wear an imaginary pink bunny suit  can get a bit ...well,-mundane and I need to go  for a run at the gym  in the evening or brisk walk wherever I am except for india  as  it gets dark as early as 5.30 in Delhi  and I was still at work during that hour , I swear  that i can never live my life  living a 9-5 job, I need to travel and now I need to get some exercise too if not I get really tired and  a little down.Going for a walk is my celebration to conclude my day.

While in Delhi....

Then  when I can't exercise ...I  have some time to spared that I spent  lying in bed  hence I decided to  review  my day , I guess i need to  enhance my life   and that is to give and to drink

1)I am not rich , but I have enough to eat and wear nice clothes.When i was i Delhi.I had 1000 INR in  100 notes and i try to give  a hundred to street vendors that sells little toys, to the amputated homeless guy at connaught place   to whomever I feel that struggle to keep  their glass full until morning light , who kept their optimism  at  the speed of full throttle.100 rupee is enough to buy 10 cups of hot tea and I hope they enjoyed their cups teas 

2)To smile to the world , if we can call that  giving.

3)To try be nice despite  having  a shit day ,  that ....trust me ... been visiting me quite a lot lately.So let's just  regard me being nice as an act of giving  pfft...

 and 4) to drink to 2 litres of water  as i realised my flat fatigue situation at night time lately could be the result of dehydration hence  experienced the  half  full motivation.... :(

March...let's do a recap.

Roses  for me? thanks!!
view from my ultra pretty room in Delhi
Staple in India
My friend's gorgeous cake shop at  number 1 khan market, new Delhi

Good bye New Delhi!

St regis Bali.

Dubai (well where else can you find the gorgeous Burj Khalifa , right?)

Saying good bye to Bali.

Having lunch at  m new favorite Padang Place in Senopati

I was in Dubai , Indonesia , India  ,now I am in Singapore writing this with   the Singapore  flyers as background and next, I will be In Indonesia and  meet my favorite squad  somewhere in Asia for a work tour (I will update you, definitely).

it has been  busy, I am very focused with  my  day by day plan , eating  my vitamins and avoiding milk and nuts as it is causing me  some unwelcome allergy lately.

Mum , I know you read my posts often, thanks for always being there for me  accompanying me through all my journey  by being there at the end of skype and for accepting me... the peculiar me that no one else could ever accept as sincere as you.

Lonely alley in Kemang ,Jakarta

public service message.

A piu tardi, sampai kita bertemu lagi.

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Kotonoha no niwa

What else are there to say
You were born , you live and worked hard for money, acceptance and  happiness....and  then you die.
I think you got to live with passion and be prepared for later years (if you will ever get there )and death.
while you are alive ...people will discourage you, betray you,hurt you as if you were born with no feelings.

Then you learnt that life is all about fighting back, about trying to get up after they pushed you hard, it's about wiping your own tears and telling yourself that you will make it.

You are after all, alone in this battle.

I was betrayed  many years ago by  my heart.
I self sabotaged myself for too long.
I kept it to myself   and cried everynight

But now...I am ok , what's left are only thick scars of the past.I wore the necklace of two heart given to me and  I air- spelled hope upon my  bathroom mirror every morning.
I looked back through this 5 years and I thanked god  for what I had been going through.

Never let  that pain of the past dampen that beautiful garden of spring in your heart.Keep that enthusiasm and  sincerity, flourish it with wild fuchsia orchids and morning glory.

And if you are lucky, someone  you could have just met will stroke your face under the violet jacaranda you planted  asking for forgiveness  for  not being there  to hug you while you were nursing your wound of agony.

and these is where I was...  Amsterdam and later Rimini in January, and before  that ,Medan for few days

Sunday, 7 December 2014

The end.

It's December already?!!

I can't believe  this year is about to end.

it marked so many things this year.

By the way my phone went dead on me, my beloved samsung galaxy note  just suddenly decided to just  not wake up.In the mountain of Genting where I was at the time I  had to call my mom and whine to her and weep to my brother complaining on how unhappy situation made me feel

My little brother went to  get me a new phone  and sent to me.gave to me as a present , the same model  so that i know how it works.

I am a very lucky  girl.

I wanted to whine more honestly, but being in an idle mode lately name it emotionally or physicallyI am choosing to keep it to myself for the time being, after all I have nothing nice to say ,So I better shut up


Ill write again one day, but not so soon.

good bye.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Birthday rant part 2


sometimes thing are meant to be the way  they are meant to be,being a moslem I accept it as my qada and qadar,no regret.Defeated of  achieve my victor y I make a vow to accept them with grace.

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”-Mary Oliver

Getting old

I don't know why some  are obsessed with  age.I am still a younger wiser me....(thank you SKII :p)

This time  around unless you are my business associate, you give me shit, i reply with shit and deleting you from my life.Life is too short for false pretense.I am who I am.

Last but not least, thanks for all the birthday wishes.
Love you loads,


Monday, 25 August 2014

a year older

This is written at my birthday eve,
Yes ! I am older and wiser and  I shall start my rant.


Very  important , I was being circled by  few unkind people lately, of course I made me sad especially at some remarks being made.I wonder why is that necessary to  say harsh things and disrespect others?then I look at this person  from another perspective, at the end all your physical shortcomings can't be covered with expensive bling blings...because you have to start with your core.... and that is your heart.I feel sorry for  people like this they are very weak.

Class and kindness they comes in two.If you are mean and rude:you are automatically ugly and poor regardless of how much money you have made so far.

trivia :My current kindness hero is Emmanuel Belliveau

Being true to the world and (by world it could also be  your workplace or school)

My mother taught me all the good things, all the bad ones i learnt from myself.Now I am working for an international company that is led by my wonderful boss.A modern style of management, I am free  and encouraged to be honest and I have got through  many crap  and I own my shit, if you know what I mean, if I did something wrong I will admit it.if I don't ...I don't.And unlike some companies  that have bosses  who listens to staffs fabricating stories through gossips and politics...my company don't do this.We deal.Just like my policy :I deal... I don't bitch ,I don't whine.I DEAL .

I would suggest for  some recent negativity to buy some pussy  as few do not deserve to be a man.


To  god, to myself, to parents, to family, to all my loved ones.

Standing up for yourself.

Sometimes you feel that you are alone  , defenceless to fight back by attacks.especially the vicious ones, remember that all in life is fair.You can justify yourself but if justice is not on your side , it will at some point be.

But should it get physical I would just suggest kick in where it hurt most  "between the legs"

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.If you have that awareness, you have good manners...no matter what fork you use.-Emily post.


It's getting late I need to sleep 

....to be continued