Saturday, 28 November 2015

Get it off your chest.

Exploitation and  manipulation?

I have nothing against women who use their sexuality to get higher in corporate ladder or  to steal another woman's man.
After all  it's their body and regardless of  our body sizes , we are allowed to be proud of it.

For the past few weeks saw  a lot bickering in between person A and a girl B  whom A doesn't know personally   but yet hate so much because B apparently , is flirting with A's  on and off boyfriend  (the status  says:IT"S complicated)
I was asking A of why she hate the girl she hardly know so much, not like her "onoff "(let's just call her boyfriend this )entertained any of B's  facebook  playful sexual invitation anyway!

She said to me "because she got big  bosom  and she flaunt it well in every pictures on facebook,  and during party session together with her "onoff" she was literally in a very sexy bathing suit.

from daily mail

I have learnt  few lessons from this conversation

1)Not all big bosomed girls are bad and manipulative.They are many  well  endowed women that are sweet and nice out there. :)

2)if you have a stupid boyfriend ,he would  do just anyone small or big chested
 or small and big brain

3)we,women can sometimes get insecure , but I don't blame this feeling .How many times in our lives we had been told that we are not what an ideal woman should be?How many times in a day our minds are corrupted with  the pictures of "5  foot 9 " clean porcelain skinned  women in medias.It's normal to be feeling less than "perfect" when they are so many image showing us  what  the world define as "perfect"  

BUT , next time please remind yourself that you ARE perfect.

4)If we lose stupid man in our lives... it's ok, let him sleep with  her chest as pillow Just imagine 10 years  down the road...
Love is suppose to make you feel better  NOT make you feel bad.

5)if you are big  busted girl  and love to flaunt it , expose it  and take pictures of  it  to be posted on facebook while thinking  you can manipulate either work place or your place  among your male social circle.Enjoy  the attention and the  11 likes , this is sincere  from me : don't expect to be respected because  when you treat yourself as a sex object , are one.

6)Work result speaks, feminine  and sexual  manipulation  never works that far, I had seen in history-short skirt or not.WORK results speaks.

7)WE WOMEN  always always have  little here and there that we are unhappy about with our bodies.

No matter what industry  you hailed from, I am wishing all the women a fair game,  a paid off hard  work and may we all have that balance in between work , rest and play  :)

As for A my friend,I wish that she can see that the boy she is seeing now even from afar  cares for her,when she is sick, when she needs a back rub  or when she had a hard day just to call her and told her she is beautiful   :) .
I hope this relationship they have won't be tarnished by presence of  a women  big bosomed or not... an attention seeker who had failed to ruin a beautiful relationship but above all ,shown off her own insecurity.

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Islam , unity , peace and love

I am not a perfect muslim let alone a perfect  daughter/human/colleague/friend.

But I know that my religion forbid and condemn such act of  mass murder and bombing.It upsets me  on how those who claim to embrace it , perceive the religion as to how they want it to be.

I expect  a difficult entry for me to  europe in the future.

I remember of experiences  dealing with kindness of true muslim scholar ,nun and monks.

I remember my ustaz Khalid  my  muqaddam teacher  told me to never bully my brother and  be nice to people regardless of their  skin colour and beliefs.I am glad my muslim family embrace love as the rule as al quran mentioned

I remember  that we are related by species.We can't even harm an insect let alone of what had happened.

Beirut, Syria, France and everyone who  is going through  hard time, who is facing trials, who are victims of such cruelty result from the act of  those who use  islam for their own good.

I  feel hopeless.

Monday, 28 September 2015

Monday morning rant

1)The underestimating  and looking down of other people

The person  who wears bata  flip flops, if she is of a certain nationality or ethnicity have to label them right away don't you?
Never ever judge .

2)The racists.

What I have been reading lately in facebook and newspapers currently  in my country doesn't surprise me.
I faced more racism in my own country more than anywhere else in the world.
I am not saying that  in Europe it's better because that  would be generalising the entire continent,I am saying through what I personally experienced working in Europe /European companies and colleagues ,I am being judged by the work that I had done, my achievement   not all this   "I am Malay  and don't speak cantonese, mandarin, hokkien  and do not touch pork  so I don't fit for the job " shit.
OR  "I am Malay a Malay chef and I automatically come from another state, renting   a room in the city and  go  rempit (street racing )at night and stutter in my conversational English" OR

" I am everything a caucasian chef can do, but  I am of a wrong colour ,yes  ...#onlyinMalaysia."

Not only  towards my ethnicity , but also towards other races .If you treat people differently because of their ethnicity  you might know this already  but let me tell you again....

You are an asshole,yes you are.

I am a Malay woman who want's to live in harmony, achieve inner peace , have comfortable money ,sleep well and eat 5 times a day.

SPG is so 10 years ago
3) it is awkward too when you fell for someone solely  because he is caucasian and you only dates the caucasians.But l am elaborating them below. I  do not  know how to summarise  the conversation I had with  one or two girls who exclusively dates  caucasian or when I was in the Philippines they  say "I only date foreignorrr"
I understand if I am hanging out in  a bar in Bangla road and having a chat with girls there....but well, how do I get to know these women?

4)Bad coffee
I hate bad coffees, being served a a cup of bad coffee is  really a curse for  a Monday morning.If I were in a hotel that my company paid for me to have a  good breakfast  and the hotel doesn't even care about coffee they served to their guests.That is an insult towards the hospitality profession.

I d not want to disclose those places out loud, but if you want  good coffee  I recommend below

Five times coffee    -the papua ones is my favorite


Il Gelato di bruno Surabaya
Historica ,Surabaya

Bangkok and Singapore

Why the hell do we  have to suffer  when  some big conglomerate capitalists are burning the forest /plantation to  make room for new plantation.
Kids can't go to school today because of this and hello! fresh air anyone?

6)Ppl who spl lik dis
I h8 u,x rite 2 me,x say hi 2me

we are not small kids, when you write please write properly.It is  disrespectful towards people you are writing to, yourself and  that written language, bitch.

Have a great day. Enjoy  your  coffee.

Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Of Bangladesh and beauty of a journal.

Long sigh....

After a break from writing  and thinking hard and being hard on myself.

I had  to decide to  either :
A.start a new blog  because I need to write (yes, i do)
B.continue  with this current one

I picked B

After all it's been a while that i have been blogging under this name.I know that my blog can sometimes be weird but I am not  really your "traditional - non weird "type of Malay girl.

After my last post that was  a little emotional  while listening to  "chandelier" by Sia.I have done a little bit of soul searching while travelling  for work , of course.

and when I was in Bangladesh I had  so much that I want to write about , so much to spill from my Malaysia airlines business seats with no one  next to me  enjoying chicken satay, the desire  was so strong to  just turn this computer on and let my finger dance on the keyboard BUT instead of doing that I finished  some work and ordered  loads of water to rehydrate+curb my desire to  write.

It doesn't work.

After  almost a month this incident happened , and multiple destinations later I have agreed with  what  the voice in my heart said to me before,
Love is not something you could conceal, and as much as I  so many times try to stop writing or loving someone, I can't remove this disgustingly cute warts from my life. (I am  typing this while  reading on a friend's message of  tummy turmoil  he have had in the next destination I am about to depart for)

I am running my life with a speed of Usain , spending most of time travelling, too focused on something that i should  not even be worried about, that sometimes i forgot  that in my front porch lays a  beautiful garden of roses that I never kiss it's delicate petals neither  inhale the gorgeous scent of perfume.

Please forgive me the almighty ,sometimes I do take you for granted of the life you had given me   and seldom sees  the beauty the universe you created have in store for me.

My life is good especially with  pistachio ganache  :)

Trying to count my uncounted given  blessings 

Sacrifice.Setiap kita  mempunyai cerita pengorbanan sendiri.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha.


thanks My for  this lovely gift :)






Fish sinagang my favorite!

Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Of sacrifice???

The final chapter

I have no tears to cry as I always  hold it back behind my eyes.
One day when it burst ,It will cause a stir
A monsoon  of sadness will hit
Bringing you the air of my breathe

Go on, pretend like it's ok
Closed my eyes, gripped my  fist
Dragged  that heavy backpack
And move on again

I owe you  the world, I owe everyone
Blood,joy, pain ,laughter
Thank you universe!

Monday, 23 March 2015

One sambhar vada and one a time

To still have loyal readers  even when you hardly write due to the humdrum of your own state of  mind and body is amazing.Thanks for reading me.

Lucky is believing you are lucky...
I celebrate life when I should, and I think celebration  is a form of escape , or a remedy to a monotonous wheel that we paddle on a daily basis, As much as I travel 12 flights a month, I must  admit that there were times when i am too tired and stay in bed and  go through that work-meal-work-sleep and  wear an imaginary pink bunny suit  can get a bit ...well,-mundane and I need to go  for a run at the gym  in the evening or brisk walk wherever I am except for india  as  it gets dark as early as 5.30 in Delhi  and I was still at work during that hour , I swear  that i can never live my life  living a 9-5 job, I need to travel and now I need to get some exercise too if not I get really tired and  a little down.Going for a walk is my celebration to conclude my day.

While in Delhi....

Then  when I can't exercise ...I  have some time to spared that I spent  lying in bed  hence I decided to  review  my day , I guess i need to  enhance my life   and that is to give and to drink

1)I am not rich , but I have enough to eat and wear nice clothes.When i was i Delhi.I had 1000 INR in  100 notes and i try to give  a hundred to street vendors that sells little toys, to the amputated homeless guy at connaught place   to whomever I feel that struggle to keep  their glass full until morning light , who kept their optimism  at  the speed of full throttle.100 rupee is enough to buy 10 cups of hot tea and I hope they enjoyed their cups teas 

2)To smile to the world , if we can call that  giving.

3)To try be nice despite  having  a shit day ,  that me ... been visiting me quite a lot lately.So let's just  regard me being nice as an act of giving  pfft...

 and 4) to drink to 2 litres of water  as i realised my flat fatigue situation at night time lately could be the result of dehydration hence  experienced the  half  full motivation.... :(

March...let's do a recap.

Roses  for me? thanks!!
view from my ultra pretty room in Delhi
Staple in India
My friend's gorgeous cake shop at  number 1 khan market, new Delhi

Good bye New Delhi!

St regis Bali.

Dubai (well where else can you find the gorgeous Burj Khalifa , right?)

Saying good bye to Bali.

Having lunch at  m new favorite Padang Place in Senopati

I was in Dubai , Indonesia , India  ,now I am in Singapore writing this with   the Singapore  flyers as background and next, I will be In Indonesia and  meet my favorite squad  somewhere in Asia for a work tour (I will update you, definitely).

it has been  busy, I am very focused with  my  day by day plan , eating  my vitamins and avoiding milk and nuts as it is causing me  some unwelcome allergy lately.

Mum , I know you read my posts often, thanks for always being there for me  accompanying me through all my journey  by being there at the end of skype and for accepting me... the peculiar me that no one else could ever accept as sincere as you.

Lonely alley in Kemang ,Jakarta

public service message.

A piu tardi, sampai kita bertemu lagi.

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Kotonoha no niwa

What else are there to say
You were born , you live and worked hard for money, acceptance and  happiness....and  then you die.
I think you got to live with passion and be prepared for later years (if you will ever get there )and death.
while you are alive ...people will discourage you, betray you,hurt you as if you were born with no feelings.

Then you learnt that life is all about fighting back, about trying to get up after they pushed you hard, it's about wiping your own tears and telling yourself that you will make it.

You are after all, alone in this battle.

I was betrayed  many years ago by  my heart.
I self sabotaged myself for too long.
I kept it to myself   and cried everynight

But now...I am ok , what's left are only thick scars of the past.I wore the necklace of two heart given to me and  I air- spelled hope upon my  bathroom mirror every morning.
I looked back through this 5 years and I thanked god  for what I had been going through.

Never let  that pain of the past dampen that beautiful garden of spring in your heart.Keep that enthusiasm and  sincerity, flourish it with wild fuchsia orchids and morning glory.

And if you are lucky, someone  you could have just met will stroke your face under the violet jacaranda you planted  asking for forgiveness  for  not being there  to hug you while you were nursing your wound of agony.

and these is where I was...  Amsterdam and later Rimini in January, and before  that ,Medan for few days