Sunday, 30 December 2007

Keeping a positive mind



Not only I brought home some souvenirs and sweet memories home from Dubai , I also brought along a terrible food poisoning.After having a meal at a buffet place in Satwa - 'all you can eat for 38 dirham ' restaurant that I personally had suggested to dine in . I was puking my stomach off the entire night after the meal.. not really a great way to end a nice holiday.I forgot the rules of no raw vegetable eating that every travellers should hang on to, I just got myself lost in a buffet of barbecue kebabs, exotic Arabian soups and biryanis and of course, salads. Like a child lost in a candy shop.






At Dubai airport I had a peppermint tea and still with my vomiting but I could manage to do a bit of shopping in between at those huge Duty free shops .

Now after 2 days of arriving ,I had been doing nothing but going to the bathroom ,lying down resting and consuming fluids. I am still recovering from a traumatising experience ,it was a great holiday with a not -so-happy ending.

Friday, 28 December 2007

Once I was in Dubai



Dining at Burj Al Arab's Al Muntaha restaurant




Overlooking Deira



At the Desert before the Dune Safari trip




Note:photos were taken by my boyfriend,Roger
using Sony and Olympus

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Will the real sliced almond please stand up?!!!


The facade of The Pavilion shopping mall courtesy of my brother, Reza
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rezaothman/
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I am typing while listening ,singing along and pretending that I am Beyonce Knowles performing Bootylicious.Obviously someone is in a holiday mood!


I received a cheque in my mail yesterday!It was from my mobile phone network provider Maxis Mobile, who had threatened to sue me if don't settle my bill of RM(Ringgit Malaysia) 500 and this was a year- and a half ago when I was bed paralyzed .Not only that their constant calling annoyed me , but their refusal to understand or let someone come and pick up the money is just too hard for me to accept , I was treated like S*** because of FIVE HUNDRED RINGGIT (approximately US 135). I paid that equal amount of deposit to activate my phone line at the first place and while I was paralysed and could not even go to the bathroom by myself ,word such as "Dont explain to me , explain to the court " from their collecting agents were not necessary . I know my rights and I know what they can and cannot do to me.

My mom paid the bill .
Yesterday was just like any other day, I checked on the mail box and I found a letter for me , went through it and there was a cheque of over RM 700 !
we actually double paid or maybe those people just do not know how to count,Since I don't have any bank account in Malaysia anymore , there I was waking up early in the morning , drove to the bank and wait to get my account sorted.I am glad that people at Standard and Chartered especially Miss Anne, had made it all casual and fuss free for me.But, the hassle on the way to get the account done , to get my car parked , the walk to the bank ,the tiredness .. sigh what a whole lot of trouble for me who rather pack for my holiday and get some serious sleeping done.




So ,that was settled and my Mum decided to pop in at the supermarket as we parked our car at The Pavilion (yep, my current favourite mall)We wanted to get some almonds and we could not find them ... I asked the girl who worked there in Malay and apparently she could not understand me as she is a foreigner , so I spoke to her in English and guess what? she don't understands it neither! and so does 8 other supermarket staffs who were playing "find -the- almond" game with me through the aisles.. they showed me the Mc cormicks green cap bottles and the herb boxes and I was playing win, loose or draw with them explaining what Almond is in the middle of a huge , gigantic ,jumbo supermarket.At the end .. No, we could not find any almonds therefore, there won't be any almond sugee(semolina almond cake)for me
this afternoon :(.


Leaving on a jet plane
Dear friends,
I will be going to Dubai tomorrow and I will be back in one week, so see you soon, and have a Merry Christmas!Thank You for supporting Sayangku Azura

Big Hug xx
Azura

Monday, 17 December 2007

Don't ask why

I dont really understand what is going on with me lately, is it the aspirin , my daily dose of 200mg of Hydroxychloroquine sulphate or the bread .. what am I allergic to?!!
At night I'm itching non stop , itch that occur in the nighttime and came from my deep skin .It frustrates me .
At this moment I am staying away from gluten which is a shame because I love wholemeal bread .. No ,actually I love breads ! any sort of breads I am the kind of person who can go hysterical running around in a bakery buying almost everything.Gluten free bread? no I don't think so.. I am a gluten and starchy kinda girl, loving my breads and its spreads.

Not only that I am keeping my mouth off wheat products , I stopped cheese too, because of the incident last week when I scratched myself to bleed because of my rendezvous with tomato and cheddar sandwich. I can't wait to go back to my UK specialist and get her to read my blood again.Is it Lupus ? is it the medication? Is it the food that I consumed ..The answer still upsets me because, I just don't know!!


Lists of things that I am not eating and drinking /might make me scratch/might make me ill.

Eggs
Belacan- fermented shrimp paste an ingredient used in some Malay food
Carbonated drinks
Shrimp - though lobsters seems to be alright for me
Squid
Shellfish
Red meat
potato
Cheese
Tofu
Soy milk -it hurt my knees
Coffee- thinning my bone
Deep fried food
Cucumber
Melon


Those are what I can think of at this moment , I deserve to sulk and be sad about it, I deserve to bury my face on my pillow and scream and cry .. but I am not going to do that.

At this moment I am enjoying a traditional Malay breakfast of Nasi lemak (coconut rice)sans the Rendang (a delicious Malay curry) and the anchovies and cucumber
and boiled egg. Because my Mother hailed from the north , she cooked delicious family"s recipe of Nasi lemak with herbs, I remember those days when I had a Restaurant and everybody complimented my Restaurant's Nasi lemak and how proud I was everytime I scooped it onto my bright, beautiful ,hand painted plates.

To follow my diet requirement, my mum made me some steamed broccoli with carrots to eat with my Nasi lemak .Nevermind ..., not being able to eat my favourite food is fine.. at least I am not itching or sick at this moment ,I think I can handle it not eating the food that I used to eat ,Do I sound like someone who tries to hide her sadness?
Yes I am...

Saturday, 15 December 2007

Be my guest (once, I was a Diva, a culinary Diva)

I used to work in a cafe during a summer break when I was a teenager, which I find amusing and my love for pastries and baking were the reasons why I worked there after finishing a short course in bread making .See, the school owned the cafe and since I showed too much interest in baking and eager to learn more , the lecturer cum owner decided to employ me on a part time basis , basically I helped out during lunch hours at the sandwich and roast section.I had a good time and made few friends , that was certainly an eye opener and one of the reason why I further studied and picked a career that has got something to do with food .Food is my thing, at least, at that time...and when I was serving , I was always 100% on the job and loving it and took pride of what I made and served.


I still love trying out new restaurants and cafes though in Kuala Lumpur I am often stunned by the service staffs , from one extreme to the other , if they are fast which is unlikely , they are super turbo fast, and when they are slow they are worst than snails. I went to a bookstore in town just now and sat at its cafe(The cafe was not operated by the bookstore) and I was waiting for 45 minutes for my hot chocolate and I didn't see any signs that my hot choc would be serve soon , but I saw other customers who came later than me were given their food.The waitresses just ignored me after taking my order, That pisses me off and I said something to the bookstore staffs later while paying for my book.I would like to thank Max and Chris of Times bookstore at Pavilion(my favourite mall at the moment) for being so kind hearted an attentive.

I can write a whole book about my experiences with servers at Restaurants some nice and some not so nice. But these are something that I can actually write about so spontaneously

In Cambodia ,the service trends at cafes tends to be "we- are- slow- but- we- hang out- with- you-until- your -food- is- cooked which was fine as I was a tourist at a tourist spot at least I don't feel so abandoned and ignored.its always nice to meet new friendly people.But I would have to give a big credit to those at the Raffles Pnom Penh for that nice treatment given and The F&B manager whom I forgot to e mail, though I said I'll keep in touch.I will share more on my Cambodia experience next time around.


You gave dining a bad name
In Hong kong , I went to Lan Kwai Fong during one of a night out, the mostly Fillipinas who worked there were kind of snobbish! and that boiled my blood too, some even try to show their arrogance and of course they don't received a single freakin tips from me.. there you go!( when you gave 'attitude' to people , they will reciprocate )




Vietnam wasn't that bad.. I remember at the Majestic when we were late for breakfast and to be honest I love the breakfast venue , it comes with a beautiful view of Saigon river and its activities, but most of all the kindness of a service personnel there , breakfast was over, but we were presented with another banquet of his courtesy , and that is why I wrote nice things about him in the comment card.

Among the thousands of tales of servers that I had experienced, besides the rudeness of Hong Kong there is Ibiza where my boyfriend had an exchange of harsh e-mails and complaints because of one arrogant server at a restaurant who insist that the fish we ordered were fully cooked when I can see that they aren't and it was like right on their faces, though they apologised only after we got back to the UK , those incident still makes me ponder , what is wrong with these people? , at the end I am a customer and you want my money and I am definitely 100% fuss free customer(unless if you start first) But then I thought .. maybe their parent never taught them any manners or empathy, or maybe they are just plain......


Home grown antics
I had been embarrassed few times in front of my tourist friends with my own country's hospitality infrastructure wise and service staff's rudeness and I'm thinking , are we really that hospitable in Malaysia? or am I the only one?

Thursday, 13 December 2007

That soft gentle touch.




I am feeling tired , but nevermind yesterday's day out is definitely a nice one.
I went to my mum's old friend's shop to get some sequins and beads at an area that's filled with fabric shops where the tailors and fashion designers in Kuala Lumpur likes to get their supplies of sewing instruments.

Unlike Mother, this daughter.
I love beads, I was taught how to make my own jewelleries by my mother few years ago, I even managed sell some of it to friends and on e bay , not big profit , but really fun to make something and sell it , especially when you were born "numb handed"it seems to be such an achievement!.Materials used in my work are glass beads, paper beads and of course my handmade clay and polymer beads.Unlike my Mother , I am really not that good with womanly works like knitting, sewing and Yes that includes beading too , but since it is therapeutic I did it as a hobby and my designs are usually crazy and funky instead of graceful,neat and detailed designs.




When I popped into those fabric shops just now ,I realized what Ive been missing and feel awful that I did not inherit any of those talents name it from my mum or my grandmother, When I sew some sequin on red , 60's style dress that my mother had made for me recently , it turned out awful as it was not as neat as hers and that makes me feel awful , and reminded me of an incident when I was 9,where my mother get a lady to teach me how to do crosstiches after I told her about my interest to do an art project and I picked a pattern with a Tortoise on it. 18 years later, The Tortoise project that was supposed to be my work of art is still not ready and even worse disappeared, I simply sucks'! I shrugged , went to bed and took a nap .




The story behind the series of dresses that my mum had made for me in this past few days is...days before Deepavali , we went to get some almonds for the desserts that we planned to make, but ended up buying tonnes of fabrics ! and today those vibrant fabrics are my dresses and my mum is currently doing the finishing touches with the beads and sequins.
I can't wait to wear them on my holiday soon, and I am finally willing to admit that unlike My Mother , my Grandmother a fashion designer , my Grandaunt a well known event and wedding planner who is also a fantastic dress maker and my late Great-grandmother who sew for hobby ,this hand aren't make for sewing .Sigh..

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

I still can't believe this



Wonder why are they so many of people queuing up at this doughnut store everyday at Pavilion , they must be delicious

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My project is still semi-done and my head is spinning and visuals of my story line for my project is changing in a fast mode.Therefore I went to Pavillion,a new huge shopping mall that had just been opened not far from my place with my mother in the pretext of getting lunch and because I can't eat almost everything , We picked a Restaurant instead of eating at the food court like I had planned in my head earlier.( unlike me,My mother was never a fan of food court and any crowded places).

I'm glad that today everyone I met just now were pleasant....

Thank god they are finally waiters and service staffs who would still be able to speak in Malay in Bukit Bintang !unlike our ugly encounter last year at the Lecka Lecka Ice cream parlour /lounge near starhill centre , where the staffs spoke to me in American accented English even when I was talking to them in Malay . The result from their snobbishness , we had an argument , that's because this Malay chap again probably from rural village and were trying hard to look "urban" See, I don't get his brup brup mispronounced English and the results sparks my anger because I took my mum out to have some meal and Ice cream and at the time I feel like the service staffs there were being rude to me and my mother and I never take silliness and rudeness well especially from service staff and I certainly know how to shout back.
I was told by another rude Bangladeshi who worked there, that the owner of the place wants everybody to speak in English because Bukit Bintang is a posh tourist spot and everybody has to be rude and speak in American English.If they don't they would have to be charged for a penalty and that is one Ringgit Malaysia each time .I am surprised that in my country we are not allowed to speak our own National language , In this case I adore and salute our neighbours Indonesia and Thailand , when I was in Indonesia I was eager to catch up with their slang and language and spoke to them in Bahasa Indonesia , I want to know their cultures of every region , their dances and how to make their delicacies.Nothing could change their identities neither millions of foreign tourist nor time.

When I'm abroad I have to pick the country's languages , why can't I be speaking in my own language when I'm in my country? With the attitude of the staffs and even the owner of the company, even though I love the taste of one of their ice cream , I had banned myself , my immediate family members and friends from having ice creams there,isn't it a shame when people refused to come to your store because of your bad attitude and not your products!I had been to some of the nicest places to eat allover the world, but I had never encounter people as rude and think "they are stylish" as people at that Lecka Lecka ice cream store.Yucks.I am glad I didn't manage to order my full meal there, as after that I saw the state of their kitchen facing Jalan Bukit Bintang and I thought ... what a relief!

I am so glad that today at The Pavilion ,everyone from the guy at the DVD shop to the guys and girls who took our orders at the restaurant not forgetting the staffs at both pharmacies and the car park guy", your kind gestures and smiles make my day a colourful one and that is genuine Malaysian hospitality.



Gigantic Christmas tree at Suria KLCC ,Last week, when I had lunch there with my mother

Monday, 10 December 2007

welcome back


Eventhough its a cloudy day today I feel much happier than days had passed.For lunch, I ate some Steamed Broccolli and Masak Singgang ( a yummy fish soup with spices )that my mother cooked earlier.I have lupus you see, there are few things that I can't eat and Thank god the food that I can't eat are not even nice tasting food .My romance with food can't be denied but now that Im on steroids ,I seems to put on weight quite fast ,compared to before Lupus, when I can eat 1 whole chicken , Ice creams and cakes so frequently and still be Miss petite and tiny.

I am currently working on a project and to be honest, I have not start a single thing yet , I wish I could blame people for it , people who took my time by hurting me and made me think 'what I've done wrong' or 'is it just me' and all the questions thats leading to self blaming .But I think today Ive got the answer , some women are competitive and likes to compete in every aspect ,every arena of our lives, Whenever we meet this kind of people stay away from them because they are insecure people and insecurity is contagious.

The story here is, a women who has everything brags about what she has got and pointed out on what I don't have and she did this often.I don't feel defeated and at one point I was even happy for her and glad she got everything that she wanted but I am just frustrated on how she could say things that she had said.I was stunned by how rude can civilised people get.
But now ,I want to blame myself and I want to change , before this my life were filled with marshmallows and chocolate muffins and those are my friends people whom are sweet until I met this person where my life turned grey and salty .Now I realized what my boyfriend's father(Rod) and even my own mother had reminded me from time to time...


NOT TO LET PEOPLE WALK ALL OVER YOU, because once they starts doing it to you and you forgave them , they will do it to you over and over again.. my boyfriend's father and my mum are wise, wise people and I regret not listening to them, and I made a vow to change how I feel and now I am inhaling good energy already
And now I am back to being productive again doing the storyboard for my project and gonna be working on them after I finish this.Suddenly my world thats pink in colour is filled with marshmallows and chocolate muffins again...

You are a No Drama Mama!

No need for drama, you just chill out and don't let things bother you
You've got a peaceful, zen-like attitude... even when things get crazy
You're a pleasure to be around, and you have lots of friends to show for it
You don't need to be the center of attention, you're happy enough as is!

Sunday, 9 December 2007

Gimme some love

I woke up pretty late today, Im glad I did that since I had been whining a lot about not having enough rest lately.
I went to the Library I wanted to return the book Ive borrowed weeks ago.
The National library is in Jalan Tun Razak , Kuala Lumpur, the bad thing about this library is it is not centrally located as in there is hardly any public transport.. bus for instance, I had never seen them there!
I drove from Jalan Yap Kwan Seng coming from the city centre, and had to go through a very long way and traffic jams , therefore today I have decided not to borrow any books anymore.I would say the location, the lack of public transportation, the filthy ladies toilet , the lack of knowledge of some staffs and the unhygenic cafeteria are my reasons not to go back there, despite being A Malaysian who loves to read and would like to use the library and enjoy the facilities.Today, I think I had enough.

But nice building though ,Like the unique roof.

Friday, 7 December 2007

shut up !

Its a grey wet day again today.There is a counstruction site in front of me , by the window that used to offer a peaceful sights such as the forest that supplies so much fresh breezy air .No doubt that our house price will go down by several percents having this high rise condominium project next to us.The level of noise and the traffic congestion that it had caused is just too painful to talk about.
If only I have the power to NOT approve a project ,If only I have the power at The City Council ,I would not approve this one just for the fact that the access road is too narrow and I dont see that this developer intends to build another road .. as they are no more lands available. and secondly because its too near to the forest reserves and too near to our building .Many times my aircond unit were shaken , and I feel the vibration from my floor as Im typing this due to the next doors pilings and excavating. What used to be a nice peaceful place is now hell.

Thursday, 6 December 2007

Perasan = thats stuck up, pretentious in Malay.

I do sometimes go out for a drink or a meal with friends,As much being a person who enjoys doing things on her own , I occasionally goes out with few friends that I find quite pleasant to be with.I hate going out and handle dramas and bitchiness let alone stupidity of some of my acquaintances who likes talking silly without thinking and being inconsiderate and later apologise and claim that it has to be their rich upbringing and how spoilt they are .. big deal!

We(my brother and I) were out last weekend, my brother were playing a game of pool , and me having a nice conversation with a friend,I saw few scantily clad Malay and chinese girls hanging out with their Mat Salleh (caucasian) boyfriends and the ugly part is one of them allow that ugly, sweaty and old looking drunken caucasian men to fondle her well endowed breast and she seems reluctantly happy with it and giggle , Ok .. its not my breast , why should I care ? but If I stop caring maybe I might as well stop blogging and stop living!And I think no matter how much you want to be with a guy , you have to have respect for yourself .

I do have plenty of caucasian friends male , female , professionals, jobless all sorts. Im dating one too. but I was wondering if an Asian girl starts dating a caucasian men, would they change themselves for their men and do they love them because of the regular reasons people fell in love or solely because of their colour and just colour?

I know few girls like that ,some of them even starts to miss eating turkeys and halloween, starts taking almost naked pictures and published it in their friendster/myspace/facebook profiles to show the world they are mat sallehs, starts to love sunbathing , but when no one is looking they go back to their village somewhere in rural part of the country and wore a headscarf and traditional dress pretending to be a nice muslim girl(Just imagine if their parents sees those pictures of them in their skimpy bikinis and hanging out with their hairy mat salleh boyfriend on the same bed? he he ,he hillarious).These are the kind of people I hate hanging or even having a conversations with , when they are in clubs all that they think about is their aim to go and get mat salleh men into their sack that comes to an extend that makes them look cheap' .I would not mind if they are doing it as a business, but I dont want to go out , use my own money to buy my own drinks minding my own business and being labelled as a 'fishermen with a fishing rod' just because other girls of the same race, only stupid, are doing it.So where are these girls before they started to miss sunbathing , eating turkeys ,escargot ,drinking champagnes and all the things a matsalleh would do?

Gosh,Im about to puke...

Im sure their Malay parents in your 'Kampung'(village) never taught them about their self identities and respect.I grew up flying allover the world and having all sort Global cuisines, going in and out of functions with my parents ,went to private school and mixed with people of every colours you can think of. I can claim that Im a 'coconut' who has white part inside of me if I were that stuck up Malay, but I won't, Im a Malay girl and I'll always be .. rice and asam pedas(a type of Malay dish) will always be my number one food .Because my parents are well educated and came from good families, they taught me some principles in life and Its pasted to my head.

My boyfriend is a Mat Salleh as I mentioned few times , we were introduced by a friend few years ago and we hit it off right away, at the first place I thought he is a smart guy who can engaged into any sort of conversations , He is aware of every issues that people talk about from global warming ,religious issues to Michael Jackson's trial, and later when I took him to hang out with my friends from directors and ceos of companies to chefs and lawyers, He just got along with them very well. Ok.. enough, I think you have got the point, I have a smart, boyfriend and He is good looking too . Enough said.That was the first reason why Im attracted to this men and if only this person were born a Malay or Indian or African , I want to be with this person , I like his personality and mind and this is pure and honest from me.And despite a person saying that Ive started to sound very English since being with him , they definitely do not know me long enough,to know that I went to school and uni in England, and they definitely don't know who I am before I met my boyfriend and of course they don't know what kind of life and family background I have.See, I mentioned before, I dont do bragging and show offs.Im only a person who speaks my mind and thats a taboo for some people .. good or bad I have my own opinion .

Dating a matsalleh'(caucasian) men did not change my preference of food ,clothes, hobby or size of my breast and nose.I am not a pretentious person and I still hang on to my nerdy hobbies like collecting stamps and gardening.I have all the freedom to be myself ,Let alone changing my name into a matsalleh name or bow to them. its sad when you became a slave to men and try to be someone you are not.I just hope that no matter how eager you are to change yourself into someone you are not , take a look at the mirror sometimes, and justify that reflection upon you.

Proud to be A Malay girl and will never change.



Mat salleh=caucasian men
perasan=stuck up, pretentious ,pathetic in Malay

Wednesday, 5 December 2007



I just want to share my feelings and thoughts .At this moment my mother is having her usual headache due to hypotension(low blood pressure) that she had inherited through generations ,I got it too, when I dont eat my daily required amount of carbohydrates I start to feel dizzy and sometimes starts to shiver but thats not the only thing that I inherited from my mother...


Food glorious food ,
My mum is a good wait,no She is a GREAT cook, she can cook just about everything.Al though she was literally born in a family who have people doing it for her ,Apart from cooking and being good at it , both of us loves luxurious confectionary, expensive nice restaurants and trying new menus.I feel proud of my mum, when friends pop by to my house they always said nice things about her cooking. My boyfriend always said "its not as nice as your mum's or yours " with a dissapointed looking face whenever he had chicken or beef rendang at restaurants what a compliment!of course I agree to that .

Yesterday, me and my beloved mum went for shopping and I ended up buying few pairs of shoes and a handbag.After that we went to Chillis (again.. two days in a row) and I had a fairly nice chicken quesadillas( Although I would say they have not try my quesadillas yet !) and my mum had salmon as usual as that is the only place that has a simple grilled salmon full stop I would say most of the restaurants in Kl serves 'fusionated' salmon like salmon with mango sauce and other silly things thats straight up yucky". When we got back, my mother made me some Tom Yam noodle , it is one of my favourite food and I ended up having 3 big bowls of them, I forgot that I also bought a huge cheesecake made by a Japanese cheesecake bakery (yes they only bake cheesecakes ) and that was awesome . what a feast!





Growing up having your parents friends coming over to your house , and having other friends taking turns to entertain us in their house is just wonderful , the kids would sit on a different dining table or the patio , the adults would eat and talk in the main dining and having a laid back time.
Now that Im an adult, those memories made me smile whenever I think of
them .I am glad to have found a men,my partner in crime whom like me , treasures simple joy in life like having few friends over for food and fooling and running around in the garden after that.In the UK my favourite entertaining food and I think it has become my trademark, has to be Thai red curry because I think Im quite good at making it besides it is simple and everybody seems to like it,folowed by few bits and bobs like coconut rice(nasi lemak),parathas , stir fry and heavenly puddings .At times my boyfriend has to calm me down , while Im planning for our mini banquet" therefore I wont go to the extreme by making my own icecreams and getting minced to make my own burgers for our barbeque.

Those are the things that women of family enjoy doing ,My mum and grandma loves English Chinas but I love the colourful etchnicky' plates that I have in the Uk and I think some of the things that Ive bought from Pnomh Penh are just beautiful. I think I got carried away there , fortunately I ve got to stop before I start to talk about tablecloth ,silverware and so on..

Im off now , there is a new Restaurant that we are about to try ,therefore I have to get ready and go now, bye.


Thanks and words of gratitude and sucking up
I am so happy with what I had bought yeaterday and would like to thank my beloved boyfriend because the shoes were from him and also my mum who always advice me to get a matching handbag when you get a shoe and that made her bought me the matching handbag yesterday.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Who are you?

I live in a so called posh condominium -in a so called upmarket area in the City Centre.Yesterday morning ,I had to pay my water charges at the Management office that is located at another block, My mother drove me there as we were about to go for our breakfast and do some banking matters.
The Nepalese security guard rudely asked my mother not to park her car at the spot because it blocked his view! he talked back at me in a rude manner .Just for the record, my mother was waiting in the car at the time , therefore I dont see the need of being rude to me and my mother .This is my house area,I paid service charges that pays your salaries and you are not a policemen anyway ..so, get over yourself!

I had always been nice to people any race or colour ,I don't care and Im not the kind of person who would label and be rude to others if they don't start with me.I just won't!
But then again the event yesterday and of course few things that I saw last week is just frustrating.

I bet its ok if my Caucasian neighbours whom I think came to Malaysia on a tourist visa and not having proper jobs (as they just hang out and dissapears for a break in Thailand every now and then to get another fresh entry to this country)put their cars there .But because I am nice and I am a local, I was treated that way.And they are the one who came here to work!THIS IS MY PLACE , MY COUNTRY AND I WAS BORN HERE .IM A MALAY WOMEN FROM MALAYSIA.

Am I being discriminated in my own country?

Maybe we welcomed too many of all these foreign workers. , I dont expect a bunch of 'small sized' Nepalese who don't speak that much Malay or English would be able to take care of my security and safety.Do you?

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Pleasing myself

I think my "tired o' meter "has reach its limit ,Lately, Ive been feeling tired like 24/7,and at night I couldn't sleep .My knee problems got better since the last time I wrote, maybe because I had lost some weight with the exercises that I've been doing but aching bones ? they are here to stay.Of course I've been avoiding the sun, which is dangerous for people with Lupus, luckily my mum had changed all of my house's curtains into darker coloured ones to trap the sun rays(just for me).
I am just so tired, that sometimes even talking is hard enough , I even wants to make my sentences shorter in conversations.

The other day my mum asked me to write about Lupus and what I had gone through.I don't know at that time what good will it bring just by doing it , I find the subject rather painful to talk about .My flaws and how I regard Lupus as the ugly beast that I can't even see , but I know it lives inside me and told my immune system to go againts my body,Invisible beast that is .

But I understand now..ignorance and lack of informations sometimes cost lives.Maybe for a start Im going to write about getting treatments, Like the dilemma of patients who can't go to private specialist because its too expensive .
So far I had never paid less that RM380 on my visits to my Malaysia's private specialist just for a consultation and thats not including blood tests that I have to do on regular basis and in the UK ,which is a different story .. it doubles or triples that amount

... but then again, to see Rheumatologist in Government Hospitals , you will have to wait for ages.More than 3 years ago, I had tried to get an appointment at a Government Specialist Centre to see it's Rheumatologist, but I had to wait for 2 months!So I said 'forget it, Im dying and lets do private '.Private means own pocket money. Lupus is classified as a chronic disease, so do your own calculation!
Though I am finding it difficult and painful to talk deeper about Lupus, I think this is definitely a good start for me.I intend to start a personal campaign to let more people know about Lupus.It had killed so many lives , Lupus killed the old me , but Im back and Im going to make THIS life,better , more meaningful and more colourful than it used to be.

For now, Im off to my balcony to savour this hot chocolate , evening breeze and joie de vivre.


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I want to express my condolence to the family of those paratroopers in Langkawi.During their training exercise for LIMA (The Langkawi International Maritime and Airspace )that will be held this coming Tuesday ,suddenly the strong wind blew them off the course and out to the sea,3 of them died.