Kotonoha no niwa


What else are there to say
You were born , you live and worked hard for money, acceptance and  happiness....and  then you die.
I think you got to live with passion and be prepared for later years (if you will ever get there )and death.
while you are alive ...people will discourage you, betray you,hurt you as if you were born with no feelings.

Then you learnt that life is all about fighting back, about trying to get up after they pushed you hard, it's about wiping your own tears and telling yourself that you will make it.


You are after all, alone in this battle.

I was betrayed  many years ago by  my heart.
I self sabotaged myself for too long.
I kept it to myself   and cried everynight

But now...I am ok , what's left are only thick scars of the past.I wore the necklace of two heart given to me and  I air- spelled hope upon my  bathroom mirror every morning.
I looked back through this 5 years and I thanked god  for what I had been going through.


Never let  that pain of the past dampen that beautiful garden of spring in your heart.Keep that enthusiasm and  sincerity, flourish it with wild fuchsia orchids and morning glory.

And if you are lucky, someone  you could have just met will stroke your face under the violet jacaranda you planted  asking for forgiveness  for  not being there  to hug you while you were nursing your wound of agony.




and these is where I was...  Amsterdam and later Rimini in January, and before  that ,Medan for few days













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