vietnamese at my favorite vietnamese in singapore |
I think you got the message here.... that my life is a story of a woman who is constantly working and travelling...for work.
I think i am pretty unbalance here, lack of stability and always insecure when starting something new like "relationship" for instance.
Sometimes it is difficult when I do not know what I am looking for in "woman loves man
relationship",speaking to my friend earlier in one of those "once every 3 months" girly conversation, a friend of mine who had just broken up with her boyfriend told me that she hope that one day someone amazing will come along, and apparently this amazing one should be "the one", then we jumped into money issues as we were planning for a vacation,anyway I told her that when one solved his or her financial issues , it looks like most of the problems just fade away, depending on how much are the needs....
If you ask me,yes I feel awkward to have found out earlier that I had measured the quality of life by something so superficial-materialistic but it is true...money is important especially being an adult in this century we are being fed with credit opportunities and being trapped in monthly installments,I am not excluded,to me money is important...BUT not everything, Sometimes ,(not necessarily pointed at me )you work so hard and coming back to your plush hotel room straight to sorting your banking -just to smile with your bank balance, having all your bills paid and yet still feel incomplete, tired,worn and unloved.
oh! those feelings above are felt so often by most chefs ! :p
But I must say ,I had transformed my heartbreak into something i regards as precious and rewarding,i know at some point i may need to retire when I am older, but I had invested my time in an entity that is so challenging but yet so fulfilling, my work took me to travel, meet people, polishing my skill as a chef, my limit as a person and my intellect doing something that i love and that is food.see... sometimes it's not all about the money, sometimes it's the fiery passion...
My work rewarded me as equally as my time and effort put in it, even to disappointment I bounced back harder and stronger and yet the opposite could be said about love experience by far (again , not necessarily pointed at me)
it fools you,disguised as a friend and went to stab you over and over again and yet you just stood there healing your wound saying to yourself "no way you will return through that route"...just to find yourself in the arms of love and bouquet of roses again?!!!
Oh my... we all should laugh at ourselves and most of all LOVE ourselves even more :)
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in a whisper tone...I am happy , I have never been happier than today before.Life is flled with laughter and love and although Life could be better, this is almost close to what I perceive as perfect,then again how do you define your kinda perfect ....?
syukur alhamdulilah, happy fasting.
My june was spent in jakarta mostly :) |
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