Monday, 11 August 2008
Yesterday once more
Thats me and my idol Dr Kassim Ahmad and his Wife, during our breakfast .
I could not sleep last saturday ,nope I wasn't out, stayed in .After last Saturday I got this feeling that everything will be alright with my life.Not that it 's not alright.I am only human and human can never be satisfied with what they got.All of my life thinking I was abnormal ,when there are no rules or guide book telling what is normal and what is not.
I was feeling rather unfortunate with whats going on with my life, and injustice that I had witnessed in this world make it even worse.I have to admit that despite my ability to console myself, going through this life is very difficult.I don't know why I was chosen but now, I am glad that I was picked to face what I had gone through.
My life changed after reading Kassim Ahmad's memoir, He fought and never questions, that's how life should be... we take one day at a time, we don't ask , we embrace.We are human after all.I turned the final page of his book and I feel what He felt.A present from my mother turned out to be a token to break me free from my own little grey clouds.
Pak Kassim , Thank you for your time and for the autographs.So very kind of you to meet me and your kind words will always be in my heart.You are such a role model,You have taught me that its OK to be different, It's OK for them to criticize you and to stand by my principles , and to be humble no matter how far who had gone to in life.I will never forget The morning with you and your kind wife.
I was born many years after Dr Kassim Ahmad ,but I can never get into Kassim Ahmad's ideas and mind, I looked up at him and think he is brilliant, while me, I know I am different and people often said I am different, but I neither speak much of my mind nor write articulately.
Many things should be left unsaid here, but his memoir is not to be debate about, its for one to read , understand and appreciate the journey of a scholar , a thinker ,Who often had been mistreated just because He is different.When it is different, it is wrong especially to conservative , shallow minds.
He made me look at myself again in the mirror today and for once in many many years I feel beautiful and not ugly and scarred like I used to.From one human being to another, Thank you Pak Kassim.
I am different indeed. Deal with it.
NOTE:Michelle, Thank You for the award !appreciate them and will write soon about them.More entries coming this week.So Stay tuned.