Sunday, 9 March 2008

Ain't no sunshine when He's gone


Yesterday,I wrote a very long entry and it was a very depressing wrist slitting ones.I've decided no to publish it.I have been feeling rather sad lately , because of so many reasons.I am tired , unhealthy and I am missing someone.

August 25th 2005.It was my birthday and I was paralyzed and I weight only 44kilograms.On that day ,its 100% confirmed that I have Lupus, on that day I got my steroids injection , on that day I received a bouquet of flower from someone very special and He said something very nice in the card, so nice that I changed my perception towards life, knowing that I am loved by someone makes me wants to live my life .I said it once when it was too painful to even lift my arms, that I rather die.But on that day he said the magic words, before I close my eyes to sleep I prayed to god to let me live and continue this journey.I got what I prayed for .I am still alive and still breathing and smelling this beautiful scent, essence of being alive.Though the person I love is so so far away from me now and things have changed, why should I let that make me feel sad?It's just romance for some, but one of my weakness is when I love I love with all of my heart and that makes things very complicated for me (and my mum a.k.a agony aunt)I guess just like lyric of that song from The carpenters -Superstar "loneliness is such a sad affair and I can't hardly wait to be with you again.
It funny that I live in such busy city with calendar of events being packed with all sorts of fun activities , I am always surrounded by people name it people who stinks and real beautiful sweet ones (like you) and yet, I feel so alone.But you have to understand, I am the person who wants her soul food and her soul food is being happy with the person she loves.Maybe this is how things are meant to be and there is some blessings in disguises.
I know this sadness won't last long but I can't wait .What else can I asked for , I have almost everything I wanted and wished for, so Azura , take a deep breath , smile and be thankful that you're alive and been given opportunity to do what you like again.Everything will be ok (awesome)and you are so truly loved(is it?)

7 comments:

Kazilar said...

See Here or Here

A Z R A said...

babe, August 25th??????? its my DAY too laaaaaa.....we were born on the same date yippeeeeeeeeeee!!!

take it wasy eh.........life is hard.....

CiliQueen said...

yess some are blessings in disguises...love yourself truly and then that one love will be yours if its meant to be..if not..glad that you have had it once ago...being alone with many people around i agonising but take that as a positive outlook towards your future..be it good or sad sweetie...make each day a wonderful one..i cant imagine the agony of being a lupus victim but i have lived a vioctim of something else and that hurts alot...so stay positive and cool dear :'(

May Burma said...

things come and go .. watch it as it visits you and watch it as it leaves you..

cheers

JesseTheCat said...

Oh,its difficult when the heart cant stop loving someone.I hope someday a new love will appear for you,or maybe even the original one! Until then,concentrate on yourself and making the restuarant a success.Then,when you least expect it,Love will pop up again,I am certain of that! :)
Hey,now I sound like an agony aunt like your mom..

doudy said...

Everything's gonna be alright :)

Edgar Lorenzo F. Nievera said...

I want to hug you!!!! I can feel your thoughts. I found myself in such likeness of experience at some point in my life.