Thursday, 13 November 2008
Old railway station Kuala Lumpur
I have practise something that I should continue doing a long time ago, I did this when I was younger but since my life was too focus on various things I had stopped doing it .
Sometimes when life is harsh even to yourself like walking in the rain from work to go home and everyone are well dressed and drinking under the roof of a fancy restaurant having a warm meal with their dates and all you think about is to reach home just to have a warm shower and to make it even worse when life is also harsh to others you find that homeless man is still smoking grass, you feel like all the apples and warm meals that you had been giving him all this while have gone to waste since he never wants to change or those foreign kids who begged at tourists spots and gave all their collections of money to a syndicate who abused them.Then you realized that life can sometimes be such an agony fiesta that serves only pain and feeling of hopelessness.
So today, I said to myself,I try to make changes,a.k.a sometimes I think I'm a bit of a busybody ,i should not really be bothered with other peoples lives ..there are more or less 6,602,224,175 of people in this world! besides,I can't even solve my sets of problems!
Close your eyes so you wont feel them , they don't need to see you cry
So this is my method of doing it... whenever I feel sad and wanting to cry, I shut my eyes real tight.and think of those sweet memories the real sweet ones that could give you brain diabetes and I listed a few so I can run them in my head like a slide show of memories
How does my hair look?
they consists of
1)When my mum always took me shopping when I was 4, it was really fun when its only mum and me joyriding on a Volvo 240 going to boutiques and restaurants and hair salon,I had my hair washed and blow dried too!I remember always giving fashion advices to my beautiful mother and always being kissed by her.
2)Being in my late father's loving hugs every time he came back from his missions, I can still smell the korus and Paco Robanne and how in contrary to that , today ,these are the smell that I loathe (maybe because at one time , want to forget him so I won't feel so sad, no matter how hard I tried I can never forget my father but since months ago I said to myself I never wanted to forget him anyway , I want him to be in my heart forever )
3)Cycling with my little brother on our BMXs
under the frangipani tree., he have always been really good with bicycle and cars and anything mechanical.He hardly know this, but the reason that i gave him hard times sometimes was because I was jealous as he is good at everything he does, everything I have always wanted to be.(Talented,Popular, musical, tall and oh so intelligent and sporty)
3)First time in London as a little girl, its funny but I still remember that when i thought when you go to London you can see superman and all the other action figure heroes as they all lived in London.
4)Our old house parties..it was fun when all of our friends came by and we played the piano and sang and eat and eat and play with other kids.
5)When my mum baked cakes in the kitchen and me and my brother always get to use our fingers and ate the batter , and excitedly waited in front of the oven.
I replayed those memories in my head over and over again and it made me smile, and I start to think that life is indeed alright,its not all sad and melancholic. My roller coaster ride so far is thrilling and fun!