A year had passed since I wrote my first ever blog, that computer that was placed by the window were usually used for works and storing photos but that day it was dark and rainy while I was enjoying my laksa that were bought from the local take away and because C my friend had been sending me like many , many invites to get a myspace account ,I finally did and wrote my first entry giving more tasks for the computer, I puked away my frustrations, energy and many joy.
In this one year , many things had happened to my life. From East Yorkshire to Kuala Lumpur, this is my story ,Sayangku Azura....
P.S : Thanks for always being here with me ,lots of love-Az xo
28 May 2007
All by myself by AZ
Current mood: amused
Its raining again today..and tomorrow is a bank holiday and its going to rain as well...All that I ve been doing today is doing my yoga,sit in the bath with my rose aromatherapy cream bath( not petals-I think its such a waste to buy roses and crumble them into pieces just to look stylish ,rose petal bath are just for movies,or witch doctor"s mandi bunga),having my laksa noodles and enjoyed watching "the heaviest men in the world" on discovery channel.. Before that I was in front of the computer for hours playing on my simulation games(yes i do play online games, how nerdy" is that.)until I received a phone call from a friend from London who wants me to come down for an evening out as she is feeling rather down and bored.
I supposed living on her own for merely 2 days without her partner who had been for a stag do had made her the loneliest girl in this world.She then asked me how do I cope with living on my own most of the time,I start to ponder ,
Oh yea ,She also felt "sorry" that I have to be alone most of my life .
I am not mad ,slightly offended maybe,I know the intention is good)BUT...
I feel sorry for people who feels sorry for me,I am happy just the way I am ,I do think that I am quite a loner" ,but that does not make me uncool or unpopular, *Hollywood movies never did any justice when potraying a person who is always alone ,a.k.a loner(and also thanks to Virgina tech incidents)- for instance when you watched a TV show, the girl who is always alone are usually
c)psycho-dangerous and has a got bad intentions like to blow the school up
d)wearing teeth braces
f)a laughing stock
When... through my research ,and the feedbacks I"ve got from my friends when asked what they think of me:
they all think that I am a fun person to be with ,despite my tendencies to reject occasional outings just to be on my own and at times ,and some of these people , they dont even like me that much, if they think that I am NOT fun they would"ve said it right to my face .So the conclusion is- I like to believe that I am a fun person.
(see if you feels bored ,you can always call people and asked them what they think of you,thats why I am never bored !)
Back to what I think of the conversation that I had with this girlfriend of mine,Girl,life is more than that, not having my loved ones by my side has certainly made me the strong person I am,I certainly cant complain when my late father left us forever ,and I dont have the cure and do not know how to undone death,I never complaint before and do not want to start now.So I go on with my life, and at 11 I moved on and cheered myself up,When I have some space of time that allows me to think of the sweet memories I had with him I just shut the button or do something else just like when you don't like a TV show,you either switch it off or be thankful when there is a commercial break.Like recently when Im in KL for months ,I dont just sit and sulk,I took pottery lesson instead ,and look at how many things Ive created from teapots to big pretty vases,THAT is my commercial break
So sulking and blabbing about your boredom and sad loneliness affair certainly is not my thang".there is too many agony and pain in this world and if you have a look at earth from the galaxy it seems like our problems are hardly a single dot.
I am definitely not bored,I am a loner,I enjoyed doing things on my own,having my own space ,doing it at my own phase.books to read,computer games to play,shopping malls to browse,little street with antique shops (while there ,make friends with the old men who owns the shop).
Don't feel sorry for me ..I am enjoying myself..Now ,if you dont mind,I need to go to the kitchen and make A Chocolate tart for me to enjoy all by myself..
2:37 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Edit - Remove
Posted by AzAzura at 15:40 0 comments
Labels: Women today