I am not well, my knees are aching, if only I can take my knee cap off, treat it and put it back it would be awesome. At this moment there are many things in my mind, I feel like my brain is a juggler , juggling one thought to another.
Last night I was upset , maybe because there are certain things in my life that did not go the way I wanted and how I have lost 3 years in my life when I can use that time to do something constructive such as building my business aggressively and harvest some money to enjoy some luxury. I love achieving something in my life , I like the feeling of doing remarkable things by myself , But I am not competitive, I blame it on the jigsaw puzzles and Lego my parents got me , As a kid I had 12 Barbie dolls but I prefer to play with my Lego to build houses only to realized that I can do better things such as a high rise building next time. In this few years I have been less active and allowed so many negativity coming my way. So that was some of the things I had said in my very angry blog which I don't think I should publish, by the way I cried while I was typing it, and now I am smiling thinking about it .
Anger will only make things even worse, that is not how I want to be remembered. No matter what had happened I am going to look at it as a blessing for me to continue life with more courage. There must be some reasons why Lupus picked me, and I am already seeing it, I was not as ‘ open‘as today , you can find people being rude to me back then and all that I did was kept quiet and observe .People had been silly sometimes towards me , but I played along with their stupidity.
The day you came to stay
Since Lupus came… I am bolder ,I realized who are friends and who are not, I see the world differently now.I hope 2008 would give me lots of courage and plenty of smiles and laughs. It has given me some good signs at the early phase , meeting people who blogs and supports my blog, who shares the same thoughts as I do and supported me too,people who smiles when I’m happy and cry when I’m sad...people whom I hardly know, and that is YOU...
How are you today?
Enjoying a cup of rose tea by the window with soft breeze hitting my face while I’m typing this...everything will be Okay... this pain will go away…, right?Yes it will.