Thursday, 15 May 2008

Things my friend e- mailed to me

.

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic............................No boobs
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Feminist............................Fat
Free spirit..........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun..................................Annoying
Gentle..............................Dull
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Poet.................................Depressive
Professional.......................Bitch
Romantic...........................Frigid
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker


WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

9 comments:

waliz said...

very funny...but men do have one thing in their head..do i have to say it loud? SEX!

AzAzura said...

I know!

doudy said...

Hilarious Post :)
But this is not true men have other things on their minds....

A Z R A said...

men, what can i say???? owhhh we women are just simple creatures, now arent we? :)

Zen Chef said...

hehehehehe...
hehehehehehehe.... haha... hehehe
hey Azura, wanna go catch a movie?
I'm kiddiiiiing!! You're safe with me anyway, I'm on the other side of the planet. Haha.

AzAzura said...

doudy,
of course doudy ! such as work and football .

Azra,
We are not as complicated he. he

Zen,
thts loads of laughter there.. oh ya someone just got back from his holiday

Shantanu said...

Heh! Interesting (and educational?) too.

AzAzura said...

Shantu,

Ha ha!

piju said...

eh how do u know all this stuff ha ?
haha