Wednesday, 26 November 2008

Jalan Jalan

The picture kinda says it all, I had a GREAT weeekend and I am starting to understand the meaning of pure happiness and joy of going for a mini city tour.I enjoyed the bar hopping and talking and taking pictures , it was fun fun fun!

Hoping this weekend will treat me well.

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Attitude check

The Klang river and Jamek Mosque,Kuala Lumpur.Yes, it is irrelevant to my story,but this is my blog.Its all up to me!

Apart from thinking about how to improve the cleanliness of my beloved Bukit Bintang neighbourhood ,The possibilities of giving free drugs and treatments for Lupus patients and the mechanism of doing it and how to make my super chocolate pudding into a super duper chocolate pudding (and maybe patent it too),I still have the time to think about people and how I loath some of them (not you of course, because you are reading this).In Kuala Lumpur they are expatriates communities, lets just call them f people (no that F THAT , it stands for foreign).Being Malaysian I love all colours and I just like other people my age, don't really care about you being of other races, That is the beauty of my country and its people.

BUT I have to say that some of these F people who comes to my country to earn living can sometimes be rude towards us the locals and how they said outrageous things and making weird comments. and of course how can we forget the reputation of "white guys"in Kuala Lumpur always trying to get under my Malaysian sisters pants(but of course this issue, it takes two to tango and love ,lust and sex are blind)

I myself had spent my time in Europe but not even once that I had the courage to be rude to the locals.Just like that song from Malique said-"masuk tempat orang bawak otak bukan pisau" translation- Bring your brain and not knife when coming to to other people's place.

Few days ago, a German bloke said to me that he could get any girls he wants in this country because he is white! :o and this was at a Coffee outlet because I have decided not to give him my phone number(Monday morning is never a good morning to ask for my number and why on earth would i want to give my number to a stranger? F that!).So, I was offended by this comment, why do you have to add a racial , colour sentiment to your comments?as if you don't look stupid enough! So I added something to it ... wealthy white man not just ANY man, if you are a brain surgeon or a founder of multi million dollar company maybe I would.That shuts him off and I think I swear I could feel that his guts are shrinking and the guts are not the only part of him that is shrinking.

But then again foreigners, especially "matsalleh" the deragotary term for Caucasians have a special place in some stupid community who look at colours rather than looking at one as an individual and I feel like this people (most of them are some illiterate people who works here )who judge others by race and saying that mat sallehs are better than the locals deserve a huge slap on their face and doses of belacan to wake them up.Where I live now, I found many of them came here without working permits and still HAVE THE GUTS to say that they are consultants for this minister and that. How many mat salleh have ran out just like that without paying their rentals here where I live now? , but then again serves the landlords right for wanting- only expatriates to rent their houses.

As Ali G always say, RESPECT and I think maybe we could always do that to others regardless of their colour but most of all... from one Malay girl making a shout out to my foreigner friends, be nice when you are in my house ..especially to me.I know I'm a good host maybe its time for you to be a good guest.

Thursday, 13 November 2008

Reality bites..NOT

Old railway station Kuala Lumpur

I have practise something that I should continue doing a long time ago, I did this when I was younger but since my life was too focus on various things I had stopped doing it .

Sometimes when life is harsh even to yourself like walking in the rain from work to go home and everyone are well dressed and drinking under the roof of a fancy restaurant having a warm meal with their dates and all you think about is to reach home just to have a warm shower and to make it even worse when life is also harsh to others you find that homeless man is still smoking grass, you feel like all the apples and warm meals that you had been giving him all this while have gone to waste since he never wants to change or those foreign kids who begged at tourists spots and gave all their collections of money to a syndicate who abused them.Then you realized that life can sometimes be such an agony fiesta that serves only pain and feeling of hopelessness.
So today, I said to myself,I try to make changes,a.k.a sometimes I think I'm a bit of a busybody ,i should not really be bothered with other peoples lives ..there are more or less 6,602,224,175 of people in this world! besides,I can't even solve my sets of problems!

Close your eyes so you wont feel them , they don't need to see you cry

So this is my method of doing it... whenever I feel sad and wanting to cry, I shut my eyes real tight.and think of those sweet memories the real sweet ones that could give you brain diabetes and I listed a few so I can run them in my head like a slide show of memories

How does my hair look?

they consists of

1)When my mum always took me shopping when I was 4, it was really fun when its only mum and me joyriding on a Volvo 240 going to boutiques and restaurants and hair salon,I had my hair washed and blow dried too!I remember always giving fashion advices to my beautiful mother and always being kissed by her.

2)Being in my late father's loving hugs every time he came back from his missions, I can still smell the korus and Paco Robanne and how in contrary to that , today ,these are the smell that I loathe (maybe because at one time , want to forget him so I won't feel so sad, no matter how hard I tried I can never forget my father but since months ago I said to myself I never wanted to forget him anyway , I want him to be in my heart forever )

3)Cycling with my little brother on our BMXs
under the frangipani tree., he have always been really good with bicycle and cars and anything mechanical.He hardly know this, but the reason that i gave him hard times sometimes was because I was jealous as he is good at everything he does, everything I have always wanted to be.(Talented,Popular, musical, tall and oh so intelligent and sporty)

3)First time in London as a little girl, its funny but I still remember that when i thought when you go to London you can see superman and all the other action figure heroes as they all lived in London.

4)Our old house was fun when all of our friends came by and we played the piano and sang and eat and eat and play with other kids.

5)When my mum baked cakes in the kitchen and me and my brother always get to use our fingers and ate the batter , and excitedly waited in front of the oven.

I replayed those memories in my head over and over again and it made me smile, and I start to think that life is indeed alright,its not all sad and melancholic. My roller coaster ride so far is thrilling and fun!

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Look up and smile


-I want to watch the new bond movie and i would want to watch them real soon with my mum.
-I want to plan a trip to a place I have always wanted to go.
-I want to ake the best chocolate pudding , richer and better than the last one I made.
-I am tired but i am happy .
-I am happy and even if I have to write this 100 more times,I would.I am very happy today ,Life is kind to me at this moment.

I love you , I love me,I love life

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Under the Azure sky

I am not sure if anyone will be reading this after I threw off my tantrums and left the other day.For what reason ? let's just forget it , kiss me now, let me make it up to you.

My heart is heavy as usual with work , things to do and menus to plan(so you know when you need a caterer, who you should call?) but now it is heavier.

Pleased to meet you
My thought are with a friend that I met a year ago at the chemist , she happens to have Lupus too and we both being the steroids (prednisolone )junkie get along pretty well,we meet occasionally for just coffee at Gloria jean's or Chocolate fudge topped sundaes at McDonald's (Yes, I hear you ...I'm a chef and I do eat at fast food chain , that's an addiction that I couldn't change.)- "L" is Sweet person, she has been going out with this guy "TJ" for 10years and he was there for her when she was ill and she was in a coma in 2005.I am amazed by love so strong, with the boy's honesty and loyalty,They are so cute together .Now,Where on earth can I get such love nowadays ?, "only available for limited customers only"I presume.He is an engineer and she literally stay at home because she was always ill, she went to secretarial school, but decided to stay at home helping her father with his business.Although knowing this person for such a short time , I felt close to her, we are both in the same age and decided to not let Lupus eat us alive, we will fight and we will live like others,I remember that I laughed out loud listening to TJ's jokes at McDonald's in Ampang and how L thinks I have such a cute laugh , she would be the first person who thinks like that because honestly, I think mine is more like a witchy laugh , though I have to admit that when I laugh,... I laugh with all of my heart and easily too!.

And two weeks ago,I had a call early in the morning ,the day I planned to ring and see if she gets better,her mum said my friend died , she had a fever and suddenly she went to sleep and never wake up.NOW,what am I suppose to say to that?I cried and we went to visit her family who were mourning.
But tell me how am I suppose to act like now?, she was like a reflection to me, apart from her kidney condition due to Lupus , we are pretty much the same.

It was a humbling experience to visit the deceased home,Looking at her belongings and sad parents, on the way back from her residence, I saw the trees with its branches covering the road like a canopy ,I looked up and saw the sunlight peeping in between the leaves, Yes I cried to every occasions, including this one while I tried to puke this pain away , pain in my throat ... it felt like sorrow, a deep thick stabbing sorrow that was stuck in me.I started to ask questions of life and death, of humans emotions of joy and pain and what if Lupus strikes and make me paralyzed again?

My reflection...

I pray for her... I am alive and I will continue this journey and that vow, It is kept in my heart with a promise not to give up, not to think too much and to live and to laugh .. after all , a friend ,somewhere up there thinks that my laughs are cute.