Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Foolish me

Days of being too happy and too sad and constantly looking for excitements are over.Starting from today now on I 've got to be serious and have a proper time schedule to meet my datelines with my book.I know I said to my friends in England it will be ready soon, and to be honest I got full morale support from those around me so , I guess it is just a matter of me against my laziness and of course there were times when I don't know what to write , just like this blog that is getting less updates. But then again ,I was busy organising my work and sorting out few issues.

Although I 've been back here for almost a year now , I have not sorted all my clothes yet , I only come to realize this when I was looking for my gold stiletto with the gold coins thingy 'last Monday , I realized that I have not taken like half a cupboard of clothes with me! They are all in England!

Now with a business that keeps me busy constantly , old and new set of friends and Saturday nights networking but topmost is of course my mum and brother.It is hard now to leave all this.I know I said it too many times about life in Kuala Lumpur but deep down inside my heart, I will miss the breakfast and shopping with my mum, hanging out with my brother till the morning just talking silly philosophy, our new innovative business ideas, how to run a country to mimicking characters in movies with our friends.

Early this morning after talking to Su in England who was about to go to our favourite Moroccan restaurant with her beau .After our deep girly conversation, I had come to realized that silly me, I am still there in the past and everyone had actually moved on,in this 11 months many things had happened to me and my friends, many were drastic.I don't know how do I keep up with all these news some bad and many good ones ,sometimes I feel like I am living on a Truman show of my own, a reality TV show that's scandalous and tragic.Unfortunately I and of course all of us do not know whats next in our scripts.So might as well make the most of it.Living life one inch at a time for I have no choice.

I also come to terms with accepting my flaws and that is making early judgement and perceptions with people and often what I got is not something that I expect to get.Life is packed with lies and people masquerading between their masks.Its hard to differentiate whats true or false what is pure and what is fake .I am often blinded by love, fake friendship, beautiful words and promises. When I know that they are all fake, its already too late,my heart had already been scarred and now they had been stabbed again.I heal it all by myself, on my own nursing it all alone in bed crying until I fall asleep, so no one has the right to hurt me so brutally.Is this the reason why I should really locked myself in this bubble and forbid anyone from coming near?
Should I view this world as a terrible place ?

Maybe its not ,after all I am definitely not a quitter,I survived almost 20 car accidents,my father's death ,poisonous snake crawling on me when I was asleep,lupus and various mishaps.You got to do better than THAT to really brings me down.
I would like to Thank those who had intentionally hurt me.
Your actions made me a stronger person now. I've picked my broken heart and feed it with sweetness .I know gradually the scar here will be fully healed.Somehow I have come to think Isn't it why I was here in this world at the first place? To make the most of my life, to excel at what I do ,to win and lose challenges, to get hurt only to realize that the air that I am breathing is actually sweet, Yes , my life is sweet indeed. Status : Az Azura is smiling.

I would like to thank all my friends blogger ,non blogger who had mailed me and asked if I was Ok , that was very kind of you, and also my dear mum who had introduced me to a literature gift that words I will always keep in my heart.

Monday, 28 July 2008

My head hurts( another whiny day)

I love fish, they are gorgeous

After a heavy weekend and being happy all week last week.
The opening of this week, which is today, starts with a headache.
I am so staying in , my head hurts. :(

Monday, 21 July 2008

Finding my way back home.

As I said it so many times, I am in the middle of writing my first book.I was raised in a library , when my late father died ,we gave away half of our books collection but now we still have a lot.But my book now is still being pre-edited by me after so many turmoils this few weeks I am finally back on track, found back my dreams and magic
My product now is still unfinished though.

I am not one of those smart writer.
I adore Robert Louis Stevenson, and I even see myself being like him , having a chronic disease and living on an island(I'm still dreaming of that) .The younger me would look at the swing outside my house and read his poem "the swing" and reading Dr Jekyll and Miss Hyde, and turning into Miss Hyde lately.
How about Jane Austen?... I know I loath her works when I was younger, but as I grow up and seems more interested in topics such as romance and boys (wink)I find those novels are fantastic, I wish I can portray a scenic scene of English countrysides like she did , a good story teller and very romantic too, She had corrupted the 19 year old me into believing that the gorgeous, eloquent Mr Darcy exist ,Oh Mr Darcy...

I grew up in houses far from other people back then, Once a week my mother would take us to a bookstore where we can pick anything we want to read for the week.I would say Enid Blyton,Nancy Drew,Rudyard Kipling's books were my favourite , they filled my childhood with so much adventures and joy .

Mum's wish
My mother often talk about this author, He had gone through a lot in his life
and my mother recalls her childhood reading his works and befriending his daughter.
"if you want to be a proper writer Azura, you ve got to read his works" said my mum.
Since most of his works are not in the market at this moment,and looking for his recent memoir was a hard task , they only had 2 in MPH Bukit Bintang and thanks to the customer service officer they managed to locate the book and that was the last piece!We were allover to look for it and finally managed to get hold of it.At the moment, we are taking turns to read it and I am like forcing my mum to read it faster as now Reza my younger brother wants it too.I had never read anything as brilliant as this ,My parents have a lot of "thinking" books . My mother , she still have a good collection of fine books in our house now, but as usual I am more into emotions and not into ideological, intellectual thinking , I think you all already know this by now ! This guy is a genius and just reading the ten first pages makes me crave to read it more.For Malaysian friends of mine ,check out this book by A great Malaysian writer , thinker -Kasim Ahmad's Mencari Jalan Pulang.I can't wait to finish this one and I am smitten with the authors words and poems. I hope he will write more books for us to read.

My wish
This is one of the missions I have in my life, to get published and let the country read my story, its among the hardest mission to accomplish so far since someone is not good with deadlines, but success is sweet and just like my other missions in life such as my business empire,good health and finding my Mr Darcy, I am working on it... somehow isn't that why were here at the first place? despite all this challenges I somehow know that I will get there.Pray for me , will you?

xoxo Az

Monday, 14 July 2008

Too close for comfort

No matter how I try to edit this picture still turn out to be like this , so sorry for the neck twist.My recent snapshot

I remember when I was suppose to go see Lisa at the nearby restaurant few weeks ago and my car could not start, when she asked me if it is too far to walk, I felt like ... "I wish you could see the state of the road now".I think it is not the distance , I remember me and some friend would walk to the shop before this construction starts.But nowadays it is too dark to walk and the road had become too narrow .The noise pollution in the daytime... just forget it , I don't even want to talk about that. I even wrote about this construction way back then .I think it is too close to the palace and the reservoir.. so this news today highlighted on the same thing.I am glad for this article and would like to thank the MP, Thanks for highlighting this matter, not for me , but for us all .After reading this I am more concern of the impact of irresponsible development(not particularly on this case, but in general)

credit to The Malay Mail

Condo on steep slope poser
By Gabey Goh

This is yet another example of the development that is depriving this residential area in Kuala Lumpur of its greenery.
Said Bukit Bintang MP Fong Kui Lun yesterday: “If you look up the top
of the hill, there is a reservior there, situated too close for comfort.
What happens if there are erosion problems?”

THE most glaring aspect of the second development to spring up in Jalan Ceylon, apart from its nearness to a church and the cutting down of trees, is the steep gradient of the slope at the site.
“No one has really noticed the rampant development in the area because it is tucked away from the main road. With this development, it is a shame because a lot of these trees were very old and should have been preserved.

“If you look up to the top of the hill, there is a reservoir there, situated too close to the development for comfort. What happens if there are erosion problems?” asked Bukit Bintang MP Fong Kui Lun who was in Jalan Ceylon to highlight the situation. The joint venture project between MMC Corporation Bhd and United Malayan Land Bhd sits right next to St Andrew’s Presbyterian Church and is slated to hold a 17-storey residential block. However, the signboard at the site does not divulge any details.

Current laws limit developments to slopes with no more than 30 per cent gradient, a fact highlighted by the residents of Medan Damansara in their fight to halt the proposed Damansara 21 project, a housing development of 21 mansions.

“I will bring this up in Parliament.

Why did City Hall approve so many such projects, let alone one that sits on a slope of more that 45 degrees gradient? Let’s not have another Highland Towers tragedy,” said Fong, who fondly recalled walks to his office in Jalan Ceylon during the 1970s, sheltered by lush greenery that’s now gone. As previously highlighted by the Malay Mail, further up the road stands another development spread over 116,305 sq ft, being carried out by Wing Tai Holdings Ltd, which will soon house three condominium blocks of 43 storeys each. This development is projected to be completed in 2011.

“Once the condominiums are built, the houses in the surrounding areas will perish. City Hall seems to be doing what it likes without any regard for its residents. The local plan limits this area to low-density development,” said Fong. Environmental lawyer Derek Fernandez said the situation in Bukit Ceylon is another example of unplanned and unsustainable developments endorsed by City Hall, with little regard for public open spaces and the quality of life. Fong added, “Many residents dare not voice out their objections too loudly for fear of retaliation by the developers and other parties with a stake in these projects.” Objections by residents back in 2002, when the first major development was announced, were summarily rejected by City Hall and a development order was issued soon after.

“The rights of residents count for little, with their objections falling on deaf ears. It is not difficult to reason out why 11 parliamentary seats went to the opposition during the last general election ... the people have had enough,” said Fernandez, who also added his doubts about the ability of the city’s infrastructure to continue taking this kind of abuse.

Monday, 7 July 2008

I'll be right back

I have not been very well, and I am always tired.They are like thousands of things that needs to be done.Weather sometimes too hot and sometimes it rains heavily, I was joking to Rod few days ago on how I am enjoying the British weather in Kuala Lumpur. I'll be back very soon with more rants

I miss you all my friends, I really do.I hope that you are well and happy wherever you are.

Lots of love,